Sometimes I visualize all of my “inner voices” as residing in a big castle. Each one has its own room and sometimes I visualize (in meditation or in writing) myself there, exploring the rooms and the part of me that inhabits each one.Ā
One day several years ago, while exploring my inner castle, I found myself in the “dungeon,” so to speak, and guess what?Ā There are some parts of me that I’ve locked up down there because other parts have been stronger, or because I just haven’t known how to interact with them.
Angry Annie is one of those parts.
On that day several years ago, I imagined myself taking her hand in the dungeon and inviting her to go with me “upstairs” into my world and into my life.Ā “Just for the day,” I promised her.Ā I can’t even begin to tell you what a difference it made!
And it just so happened that that very same day, my husband did something that REALLY pissed me off on a very deep level (not just surface stuff being activated, but many years of stepfamily issues rising to the surface).Ā As I was feeling my blood boil, I remembered Angry Annie and that she was with/beside me for the day.
It was as if I’d really been set free.Ā I was able to speak my anger to my husband without being consumed by it, and believe me…. this was a brand new experience for me!
I didn’t do any journaling with her right away. At that time, it was enough that I had invited her out of the dungeon and into my everyday world. It was enough that I was becoming aware of the times when anger rise, and offering compassion and curiosity to this part of me instead of shutting her away in the dungeon of my inner castle.
I believe a lot of it has to do with social conditioning around the subject of anger. It’s not nice to be angry is a message that seems to be prevalent.Ā Growing up, I saw my mother lash out with her anger…. and I saw my father repress his completely.Ā I chose his way because her way was hurtful.Ā But I have learned that there is a different way.Ā
At first I was actually afraid of Angry Annie, but now I see that she isn’t here to hurt me or anyone else in my life. She is here to shine light on injustice and to help me forge the way to my own best self.
Have you made a card for the part of you who feels the emotion of anger now and then? My card, above, shows Angry Annie out of balance. I still need to make a card for her when she is IN balance. There is something powerful about anger in balance as a way to fairness and justice and a righting of wrongs.
Share with me below! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject and how you go about keeping your inner Angry One in balance.
Thank you, Anne Marie. This is a helpful reflection. I do have a card for my angry child but I had not thought to intentionally bring her out of my deck (or the depths of my unconscious) to simply be with me in general. If I do, perhaps I won’t feel the blast of her presence inside of me when I become angry at someone, too. It is that blast that throws me off center from being able to stay in a calm state to talk with the person. Very interesting! Again, thank you. š
Yes, Marianne, keeping her card out for a while may just keep her in your consciousness and this part of you will feel appreciated to the point where she won’t wreak havoc with you. It might take a while though… and if you are having difficulty channeling this angry part of you, you might want to seek help from a therapist or counselor of some kind. I hope this helps! Peace and light, Anne Marie
“She is here to shine light on injustice and to help me forge the way to my own best self.”
I have always thought of her as a Destroyer – never occurred to me that I could befriend her and, that when in balance, she has something to teach me.
She is kept in the cellars beneath the dungeon’s cellar’s dungeons. So it might take awhile to get her upstairs!!!!!!!!!