SoulCollage Inspiration

I drew this card recently in an every-other-daily reading. It’s a fairly new card that I had only worked with once before. No surprise… it had much pertinent, relevant wisdom for me!

Who are you?

I am the one whose eyes are closed. I am the one who is solemn and mindful.

I am the one who is contemplating. 

I am the one who is facing away from the grave stones.

I am the one with a bright light in my heart.

I am the one who knows there are fireworks lighting up the sky behind me.

I am the one who is dressed all in black.

What do you have to say to me today?

My message for you today is this: you have been through two huge transitions this past year and I want you to know that you are STILL in the transition. You might be in the in-between phase a while longer.

Find time each day to be still like a I am. In your stillness, allow the rushing-ness of the lat several months begin to cease their rushing.

The key to ending the overwhelm and busy-ness of the “Big Moves” is to find pockets of stillness in your days, times of Doing Nothing, even for just ten minutes at a time.

The old is behind you now- the old house/home, the old ways of doing things. But they live in your mind and heart and spirit, just as beloved people and pets do when they die.

I drew this SoulCollage® card in a reading recently. It was a time in my life when I was really feeling my aging body.  Sometimes when I draw this card, the younger woman is speaking. This time the older woman seems to be speaking to my younger self.

Who are you?

I am the one who is looking back on my younger days and wishing I could go back to when I felt clearer, younger, stronger.

I am the one who looks back and remembers what good health felt like.

My message for you today is this:

Please notice that I am smiling as I look back. You have been looking back with regret and longing. I want you to look back with peace. There is no going back. There is only going forward. Trust in yourself. You know the way.

Note: When I did this reading, I was deep in grief for the loss of our beloved dog, Suzy. If these questions call to you, I suggest substituting “this darkness” for whatever difficult, dark time you are in the middle of right now.

How do I endure this darkness?

Neter: Bodacious Bod
Committee Suit

I am the one who loves my body and moves my body and feels good in my body.
I am the one who isn’t self-conscious about my body, no matter what I weigh.

You can endure the darkness of your grief by staying deeply connected to your body,
by practicing pleasurable eating, by slowing down and paying attention
to what your female Animal needs and desires.

 

 

What is the potential here?

Neter: Negative Nancy
Committee Suit

I am the one who runs the old tapes from your childhood, tapes where you learned negative thinking and fear and worry and scarcity. I am the one who always sees the negative aspect of anything that happens to you.

The potential here, in the darkness of your grief, is that you will stay in the grief, that you will resist any tool that will help you out of the darkness, that you will feed on my negative energy and get stuck in the grief and the darkness that accompanies it.

 

What is the light that is coming?

Neter I Have a Choice
Committee Suit

I am the one who is being pulled in one direction by a lady wearing black. I am the one who can choose. I am the one who doesn’t want to go with her. I am the one who is turning around and being called in a different direction.

The light that is coming will only come when you make a choice to hear a voice that is the opposite of your grief.

Me: What is the opposite of my grief?

The opposite of your grief is always the love that inspired it in the first place. So in this case, focus your listening ear and your watchful eye on the love that you held and still hold for Suzy. The love, it is always the love, that brings the balance and the light.

 

How can I help the light grow?

Neter: Road Less Traveled
Council Suit

I am the one who chooses the lesser-worn path. I am the one who made a choice to not journey the way that most people journey. I am the one who prefers the lesser-worn path.

You can help the light grow by moving toward it. By heightening your senses and taking one step at a time toward the light, toward YOUR light. And the light in this case is the love that you had for Suzy. So how can you grow that love? How can you move toward it?

We are currently in the process of relocating our home (and our lives) from this beautiful home in Beverly Massachusetts USA to Wells Maine USA. As the last few months have unfolded, I’ve realized that, along with the excitement and joy of creating a new home in Maine,  I’ve also been carrying some sweet sorrow about leaving this home that has been mine (ours) for 29 years.

So I created this card that will live in my SoulCollage® deck as a reminder of its powerful presence in my life for almost three decades. I received much from journaling with it and from letting its voice be heard. What a gift!

Who are you?

I am the one who stands tall and sturdy. I am the one who watched as you learned the difficult art of stepmothering. I am the one who watched and held space for you as you learned the art of mothering and being mothered by Sasha (cat).

I am the one who held and still holds the love that you and Jeff made, the love that you still have for one another, and the love of those dear little animal friends who still love you from the afterlife- Sasha, Scooter, Minnie, Suzy, Louis, Seymour.

I am the one who drew many little (and big!) birds and animals to your yard, your door, your feeders, your feeding ground.

I am the one who looked on proudly as your stepchildren took their first steps away from home. And I am the one who also held their tears and anguish as well as their happiness and joys.

I am the one who gave you so much more than a roof over your head for 29 years. I am the one who gave you space to host Thanksgiving with your family and friends, space to pray and to write. I am the one who gave you a room just for your Writing Self, and a place to meditate and do yoga and create beautiful works of art.

I am the one who is grateful for the many years that you took care of me and cleaned me and loved me, and yes…. you took me for granted most of the time but I don’t mind that at all. I am happy that you graced my floors and my walls and all the spaces that are within me.

I am the one who is still here for you. You haven’t left me yet, and even when you drive away from me for the last time, I am still a part of you, and the love and joy that you created here inside of me, remains.

I want you to know that I am proud of you and Jeff for making the decision to create something new for yourselves in a beautiful place near the ocean. I have heard and sensed your dreams for this for many years, and it pleases me to know that that is where you are going!

Please know that I am ready and able to offer shelter and comfort for another family, and I promise you that they will receive as much joy and happiness and comfort and peace as you and Jeff received when you lived within my walls. And if that new family experiences anguish and heartache here as well (and of course they will, as they are only human), please rest assured that I can hold all of that as well.

I have been a lover of all things THEATRE since I was 14 years old and my big brother (age 24) took me to see “Man of La Mancha” at the University of Connecticut theatre. Since then I have seen hundreds of shows (not kidding!) and there’s only one that bored Jeff and I so much that we walked out of.

From 1995-2005 I worked as Assistant Box Office Manager at North Shore Music Theatre in Beverly, MA, just one mile from my home. I was able to see each musical as many times as I could. Favorites that I went back to again and again:

Aida
Honk!
Kiss of the Spiderwoman
Crazy for You
A Christmas Carol
Abyssina
Children of Eden
The Who’s Tommy
Fiddler on the Roof
The Full Monty

They didn’t produce Into the Woods during my years there, or that would be on the list too!

In 2014, I worked backstage as Props Master at a community theatre’s production of “Sound of Music.” That is an experience I will treasure always.

At our annual KaleidoSoul SoulCollage retreat this year, I finally created a card for my deck that honors this part of me who loves theatre:

Who are you?

I am the one who takes my seat in the audience and gazes happily at the stage, waiting for a story to unfold.

I am the one who delights in the music, the dance, the dialog, the actions both onstage and off stage.

I am the one who loves being transported to other worlds, other dimensions, other time periods via theatrical productions.

I am the one who is in awe of the ability of actors to memorize so many lines!

I am the one who loves the emotional uplift that I receive whenever I let myself be immersed in the story playing itself out on the stage.