I’ve been giving myself a crunchload of deadlines lately, for my personal life as well as for my business. Today I drew this card in my daily reading. Big surprise! It’s Gabriella, my Overachiever/Pusher.
I am the one who always needs to be DOING something. I am the one who wants to win, to be the best, who tells you not to bother doing this or that if you’re not going to make money at it right away. I am the one who hates wasting time, who doesn’t understand why you need an hour or two to sit with your feet up reading a novel. I am the one who makes lists and schedules and insists that you DO them all. I am Impatience’s sister. We are molded of the same DNA.
I give you a sense of purpose and I’m good at seeing what needs to be done and at showing you how to meet deadlines. I want you to do, do, do, and to forget about all this “being enough” crap. I want you to keep improving yourself.
What I am saying to you today is this… I am the one who wants you to finish everything on your TO DO list before I let you play or have fun or do something “luxurious” like relaxing with a good book. Take a step back and look at my energy and what it is doing in your life… Notice how my energy can be channelled into balanced action for your life. I can help you but I need tight reins. I can help you but I need some boundaries.”
I’ve had trouble sleeping the past few years. My gynecologist says it’s probably something to do with menopause. My therapist encourages me to do visualization when I go to bed. Everyone has a theory. What I finally did was to make this card….
Who are you?I am the one who sleeps deeply and easily. I am the one who sleeps like a rock. I am the one who lets go of the day and allows sleep to claim me every night. I am the one who willingly closes my eyes at night and gives in to the call of my inner dream world. I am the one who rests and nourishes my body with sleep.What do you have to give me?I give you daily rest. I give you the ability to let go of the day’s journey. I give you dreams and deep physical peace.What do you want from me?I want you to stop resisting sleep. I want you to allow yourself enough rest every night. I want you to know you won’t miss anything as you sleep. I want you to know you will be safe as you sleep.
This card has also suggested to me, via a Daily Reading, that I use the card and a candle in a nightly ritual, along with my journal, before getting in to the bed to go to sleep. When I remember and allow myself to do this, it seems to put closure on my day for me and allows me to fall asleep faster, without all the usual inner “chatter.”
When I was laid up in bed in January with bronchitis, I started watching two hours of Judging Amy reruns every day, and somehow I got hooked.Ā After a few weeks, I couldn’t justify lying in bed until 2 in the afternoon, so I began taping the episodes every day, and then watching them at night or catching up in weekend marathons. If you don’t know this show, it’s about a Juvenile Court judge (Amy) who is in her 30’s and lives at home with her mother (Maxine) who is a social worker, and her 10 year old daughter (Lauren).Ā While I found the courtroom scenes, the social work stories, and the love triangles intriguing, I still wasn’t quite sure why I was so drawn to this show.
A few of my inner voices were intent on judging me for this prime time obsession.Ā Can’t you find something better to do with your time?Ā This is ridiculous.Ā You are becoming a tv junkie.Ā How juvenile are you anyway?
But I felt, somewhere deep within me, the need to keep watching it.Ā It felt like this was more than a tv show to me somehow, and I decided to trust these inner nudges to keep watching.Ā I decided to trust my intuition, and to develop a “wait and see” attitude.Ā So I kept watching.
A few weeks ago I did a SoulCollageĀ® reading where I asked a question of my deck, and then drew 4 cards.Ā Interestingly enough, THREE of those FOUR cards had something to do with the topic of mothering.
Committee (Inner Mother) – I am the one who mothers myself with kindness and tenderness.
As I continued the reading (writing some I AM THE ONE WHO’s for each card, and then letting each card speak to me about my question), I came across a startling realization!Ā Here is part of what the Divine Mother card “said” to me as part of this reading: Good, truly deep mothering is not something that you ever received, although your mom’s intentions were good.Ā And so you are now struggling with the process of inner mothering. I can help you with this.Ā Watching Judging Amy is helping you too. Do not brush it aside as “just a tv show…”Ā YouĀ are receiving much wisdom and insight from watching Maxine and Amy, and Amy with Lauren…. Embrace what you are learning there. Be glad of it and grateful for it too. I was completely startled to see those words coming from my hand, and from the voice of the Divine Mother!Ā Of course!Ā It became clear to me as soon as I wrote those words.Ā Crystal clear.Ā Now I watch the show with a bit more of a focus, and the lessons I am learning on what it means to mother myself are coming faster than I can write them down!Ā (Later, I also added an image of Amy and her mother onto my Inner Mother card. They are the ones in black and white near the center. >>>>>)
I love telling this story about myself because it’s a clear reminder of how I can and should always trust my intuition…. my soul truly DOES know what will serve me best.. all I have to do is listen and follow!
PS You can comment on this post by clicking on the word “comment” below.Ā I’d love to hear what you have to share about this topic.
So you’ve found your way to this beautiful rainbow of a blog, created just for you by Anne Marie! NOW WHAT???
One or two times a week, Anne Marie will post a message to the blog… a short insight, or one of her SoulCollageĀ® cards and interpretations. She will be sharing her own unique flavor of SoulCollageĀ® wisdom.
Use the links on the left as resources to assist you in your own soul work.
Use the categories on the right to help you find information on a certain topic within this blog (sorry, that list is kindof short right now…but give it time, and watch it grow as more information and insights are shared!).
Use the photo albums on the right to take a peek into Anne Marie’s own SoulCollageĀ® deck and receive ideas for your own cards as well.
One more final word of advice…. Look at the bottom of the lavender column on the right. See the word FEEDBLITZ? Put your email address in the white box there, and you will receive a short notice every time Anne Marie posts something on this blog. That way, you don’t have to remember to keep checking it to see what’s new!
Thank you for stopping by…Ā I’m glad you’re here.Ā My intention for this blog is that it will be a center for replenishment, centering, and creative inspiration for you as you begin/continue on your journey with SoulCollage.
I’ve been giving myself a crunchload of deadlines lately, for my personal life as well as for my business. Today I drew this card in my daily reading. Big surprise! It’s Gabriella, my Overachiever/Pusher.
