When I drew a card from my SoulCollageĀ® Deck yesterday morning, I asked “Who will help me deal with the loss of my dear cat Scooter?” This is the card that I drew, and her voice immediately offered me comfort and a subtle kind of peace: I am the one who believes in magic and fairies. I am the one who talks to angels and animals, and hears them talking back to me. I am the one who believes in prayer and who prayers frequently and fervently, with faith. I am the one in direct contact with the Divine. I am the one who believes in magic and who watches spellbound as rabbits are pulled out of hats and scarves change color in mid-air. I am the one who acknowledges the Mysteries of the universe, who accepts the Mysteries and loves them as they are. I give you a sense of mystery and awe. I give you the knowledge of other realities and the open mind to accept them. I want you to believe in fairies and angels, and to know that dolphins and cats can talk to you. I want you to see magic everywhere you turn. I want you to pray and to know that your prayers are ALWAYS answered. I want you to stay connected to the Divine. What I have to say to you today is this: Scooter has been gone for a week now, but from the first moment you met him, you asked for Angel Protection for him, because you knew he was a wild free spirit– he told you this, and you listened, you heard him. You honored his deepest heart’s longings by letting him have his freedom, and you always knew that you couldn’t be the one to protect him, as much as you wanted to. Now, today, in the midst of your aching grief, I want you to know and to believe that he has and has always had the Angel Protection that you continually asked for. I want you to have faith that the Angels have honored your request. It really is that simple. I also want you to know that all of your inner communication with Scooter was real. He felt safe with you and he loved you fiercely. Let there be joy and gladness in the midst of your tears and pain, for anytime a wild creature like this is loved so deeply, heaven is full of gratitude and rainbows.
The WorryWart
I made this card about a month ago because I’m aware of the worrier inside of me. When I found these images, I knew immediately it was my inner WorryWart. However, I added it to my deck and didn’t do any interpretation work with it…. until this morning. My beautiful 12 year old tiger cat, Scooter, has been missing for 2 days now, and even though he’s an outdoor cat who disappears like this from time to time, I love him and miss him dearly when he does. Last night was especially difficult as I found myself playing over and over in my head every bad thing that could have happened to him. So when I drew my WorryWart this morning in my daily SoulCollageĀ® reading, I wasn’t surprised at all. His energy has been running rampant inside of me. Here is what I learned from my work with this card today:
Who are you? I am the one who frets and worries and doesn’t think that anything ever works out right. I am the one who grotesquely alters your thinking patterns. I am the one whose sharp teeth bite and shred your calm faith to pieces. I am the one who devours you with worry and false fears. I am the one who expects the worst to happen every time. I am the one who begins speaking in whispers and these whispers eventually turn into panicked screams. There is nothing gentle and kind about me. I exist to distract you from any peaceful state you attempt to achieve. I am the one who fills your mind with sharp prickly thoughts of impending disaster and worst case scenarios. Who are you related to in my inner world? I am the son of your mother’s Worrier. I am Nancy Negativity’s beloved sister. I am the cousin of Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop. What do you have to give me? I give you protection from surprises. When the other shoe does drop on you, I think it doesn’t hurt you as bad because I’ve prepared you for it. What do you want from me? I want you to worry all night, and all day too. I want you to give in to my power. I want you to forget about prayer and meditation and faith. I want you to toss out any ideas of trusting in the divine order of things, and I especially want you to get that idiotic quote “All shall be well and all shall be well…” out of your mind.
Overachiever
I’ve been giving myself a crunchload of deadlines lately, for my personal life as well as for my business. Today I drew this card in my daily reading. Big surprise! It’s Gabriella, my Overachiever/Pusher.
I am the one who always needs to be DOING something. I am the one who wants to win, to be the best, who tells you not to bother doing this or that if you’re not going to make money at it right away. I am the one who hates wasting time, who doesn’t understand why you need an hour or two to sit with your feet up reading a novel. I am the one who makes lists and schedules and insists that you DO them all. I am Impatience’s sister. We are molded of the same DNA.
I give you a sense of purpose and I’m good at seeing what needs to be done and at showing you how to meet deadlines. I want you to do, do, do, and to forget about all this “being enough” crap. I want you to keep improving yourself.
What I am saying to you today is this… I am the one who wants you to finish everything on your TO DO list before I let you play or have fun or do something “luxurious” like relaxing with a good book. Take a step back and look at my energy and what it is doing in your life… Notice how my energy can be channelled into balanced action for your life. I can help you but I need tight reins. I can help you but I need some boundaries.”
She Who Sleeps Easily
I’ve had trouble sleeping the past few years. My gynecologist says it’s probably something to do with menopause. My therapist encourages me to do visualization when I go to bed. Everyone has a theory. What I finally did was to make this card….
Who are you? I am the one who sleeps deeply and easily. I am the one who sleeps like a rock. I am the one who lets go of the day and allows sleep to claim me every night. I am the one who willingly closes my eyes at night and gives in to the call of my inner dream world. I am the one who rests and nourishes my body with sleep. What do you have to give me? I give you daily rest. I give you the ability to let go of the day’s journey. I give you dreams and deep physical peace. What do you want from me? I want you to stop resisting sleep. I want you to allow yourself enough rest every night. I want you to know you won’t miss anything as you sleep. I want you to know you will be safe as you sleep.
This card has also suggested to me, via a Daily Reading, that I use the card and a candle in a nightly ritual, along with my journal, before getting in to the bed to go to sleep. When I remember and allow myself to do this, it seems to put closure on my day for me and allows me to fall asleep faster, without all the usual inner “chatter.”
My Intuitive Love Affair with “Judging Amy”
When I was laid up in bed in January with bronchitis, I started watching two hours of Judging Amy reruns every day, and somehow I got hooked.Ā After a few weeks, I couldn’t justify lying in bed until 2 in the afternoon, so I began taping the episodes every day, and then watching them at night or catching up in weekend marathons. If you don’t know this show, it’s about a Juvenile Court judge (Amy) who is in her 30’s and lives at home with her mother (Maxine) who is a social worker, and her 10 year old daughter (Lauren).Ā While I found the courtroom scenes, the social work stories, and the love triangles intriguing, I still wasn’t quite sure why I was so drawn to this show.
A few of my inner voices were intent on judging me for this prime time obsession.Ā Can’t you find something better to do with your time?Ā This is ridiculous.Ā You are becoming a tv junkie.Ā How juvenile are you anyway?
But I felt, somewhere deep within me, the need to keep watching it.Ā It felt like this was more than a tv show to me somehow, and I decided to trust these inner nudges to keep watching.Ā I decided to trust my intuition, and to develop a “wait and see” attitude.Ā So I kept watching.
A few weeks ago I did a SoulCollageĀ® reading where I asked a question of my deck, and then drew 4 cards.Ā Interestingly enough, THREE of those FOUR cards had something to do with the topic of mothering.
As I continued the reading (writing some I AM THE ONE WHO’s for each card, and then letting each card speak to me about my question), I came across a startling realization!Ā Here is part of what the Divine Mother card “said” to me as part of this reading: Good, truly deep mothering is not something that you ever received, although your mom’s intentions were good.Ā And so you are now struggling with the process of inner mothering. I can help you with this.Ā Watching Judging Amy is helping you too. Do not brush it aside as “just a tv show…”Ā YouĀ are receiving much wisdom and insight from watching Maxine and Amy, and Amy with Lauren…. Embrace what you are learning there. Be glad of it and grateful for it too. I was completely startled to see those words coming from my hand, and from the voice of the Divine Mother!Ā Of course!Ā It became clear to me as soon as I wrote those words.Ā Crystal clear.Ā Now I watch the show with a bit more of a focus, and the lessons I am learning on what it means to mother myself are coming faster than I can write them down!Ā (Later, I also added an image of Amy and her mother onto my Inner Mother card. They are the ones in black and white near the center. >>>>>)
I love telling this story about myself because it’s a clear reminder of how I can and should always trust my intuition…. my soul truly DOES know what will serve me best.. all I have to do is listen and follow!
PS You can comment on this post by clicking on the word “comment” below.Ā I’d love to hear what you have to share about this topic.