Blog – Page 43 – KaleidoSoul

Childless- Committee Suit

August 31, 2010 by Anne Marie Bennett

I made this card in 2005, to help myself with the huge sadness I feel from time to time over not having my own children. I do have three stepchildren and was very active in their upbringing and their lives from the time they were in elementary school, BUT… it is not the same thing!

Who are you?
I am the one who doesn’t have my own children. I am the one who sees this as a choice, and also a loss. I am the one with so much love to give and who gave all my love to my husband’s kids and now it feels like those bowls of given love are empty. So much given, and nothing received. Where was the flow?

I am the one who bows under the weight of all this sadness, loss and pain. I am the one who envies women with children. I am the one who feels an empty place inside where my own daughter would have dwelled.

I am the one who bows heavily to the choices that I made, who understands those choices were not made alone, or quickly, who knows that this choice to remain childless was mainly made out of love for my husband, who already had three when I met him.

I am the one who knows that this decision is also blessed with light, but mostly I am the one who is weighted down with the burden of grief and loss.

What do you have to give me?
I give you a life that is free to be led in solitude, a life that is filled with all the things and people you love, a life of freedom from the responsibility that comes with having your own children.

What do you want from me?
I want you to acknowledge that there is blessing and light and joy in spite of the grief. I want you to feel your grief, not deny it. I want you to know that you are not alone. I want you to know that you made the right choice. I want you to remember that there is more to mothering than giving physical birth. I want you to honor your choice to remain childless.

NOTE FROM A READING IN APRIL, 2007 (2 years later):

I am the one who sees the empty bowls as things of lightness and grace. I am the one who is filling the bowls with good things, joy and memories laced with blessing, and with love.

I am the one who embraces the emptiness that these bowls offer.

My message to you today is this: the empty bowls have gifts to offer… embrace these gifts as you live into the Divine Mystery of birth in other areas of your sweet, precious life.

Leaving the Past Behind- Committee Suit

September 18, 2011August 19, 2010 by Anne Marie Bennett

Who Are You?
I am the one who is walking away. I am the one who has climbed the colorful blocks and is moving out the door to a new way of being. I am the one who has put on my hat and is leaving this place for another, brighter place. I am the one who is trusting completely that I am moving to the next right place for me.

What Do You Have To Give Me?
I give you the knowing that it’s time to leave old parts of you behind. I give you bright red doors to walk through. I give you a new place to go to. I give you faith and joy and the excitement of the future.

What Do You Want From Me?
I want you to move on out those open doors. I want you to SEE those open doors, so you can easily walk through them. I want you to put on your hat and come with me. We don’t need the past anymore! It’s time to freefall into the next phase of our life!

The Little Demo Card That Could

October 5, 2010August 9, 2010 by Anne Marie Bennett

I am sooooo excited about this card, not only because… just look at it… it is breathtaking (to me, anyway!). Not only that, but mainly because of the way I created it.

I was leading a workshop on Saturday and three of the participants were new to SoulCollage. So I needed to do a little card making demo for them so they could see how a card came together. I realized this a little late, like about 5 minutes before I was going to have to do it, so I hurried to the table of images and grabbed the first large image that caught my eye… the background of the monks on the floor with the heavy curtains and the light coming through the windows.

Then I looked for an image to go with it and grabbed the baby in the flower because the colors looked right.

And when I was laying that out under the frame so they could see how to do a layout, I realized I needed another image because it didn’t look complete (also part of the demo I was doing… letting them know it’s okay to add and take away images as they create).

So I grabbed the image of the clasped hands, again, because the colors were “right.” In my mind, I was still making a demo card and only a demo card. I wasn’t making a card for my own deck, or so I thought!

So I glued it all down and showed them that part of the process, then flipped the card over to let it dry and pretty much forgot about it. Near the end, I was getting ready to demo the I Am The One Who… interpretation process and I needed a card to do it with, and I remembered this one, so I trimmed off the edges and when I turned it over and saw what I’d made, WITHOUT EVEN TRYING, I was blown away.

A new card for my deck and I wasn’t even trying to make a new card for my deck!

Even the “bit of sky” between the two clasped hands is an integral part of the meaning of this card, and I didn’t leave that bit of blue sky there intentionally either. I just didn’t want to take the time to find the tiny scissors and snip it out because, after all, I was only creating a “demo” card for my workshop participants! Ha!

Who are you?
I am the one who is sound asleep in this little flower.
I am the one who rests peacefully knowing that the world is safe.
I am the one who is present with these monks even though they are not aware of me.
I am the one who rides in on the Light of God’s grace.
I am the newborn, the one who is just beginning.
I am the one who represents the powerful, peaceful presence of these monks at prayer.

What do you have to give me?
I give you a sense of safety, that all is well.
I give you a knowing of the presence of God’s grace.
I give you the certainty that you are surrounded by God’s grace and blessing, no matter what.
What do you want from me?
I want you to rest in the awareness of God’s grace.
I want you to know that God is present in all parts of the world, in all religions, places, times, cultures, and to all people. All people.
I want you to remember that the Unseen is sometimes the most powerful of all.

Is there any other message you have for me today?
You are safe. We are here, guarding you, protecting you.
There are many unseen beings surrounding you today and always. We may not be seen with human eyes, but our presence touches you like the sky touches the whole earth.

Mysterious Connections

October 31, 2011July 29, 2010 by Anne Marie Bennett

Several months ago I made this SoulCollage® card and it really intrigued me. When I let the women on the card speak, this is what they said to me:

We are the ones who want to sail away on these beautiful colored boats. We are the ones who are masked and robed and can’t get into the boats. We are the ones who are hiding ourselves behind these masks and robes. We are the colorful, creative ones, but we are tied to this place and time. We are waiting for you to set us free. Please come and help us reveal our true selves so that we can sail onward to our destiny. We are tired of being covered up. We want the world to see us now! Are you ready to set us free?

And then… as so often happens with SoulCollage®, I was looking through my deck a few weeks ago for a certain card. And I came across THIS card, which I’d made about 3 years ago and had NEVER really gotten a grasp on what it was about, even though I’d journaled with it several times.

I gasped when I saw this card, because they looked and felt like the same women!

The first card I’ve shared here (above) had really been on my mind, and I’d set it out on my desk so it could accompany me on my daily inner journey. I even had it in my mind that I was looking for some images of women in those same bright colors of clothing so that I could make a new card of these women who had been masked, but were now set free.

So it feels to me like THIS card, made three years before the other one, is kindof like a prequel to that one. Listen to what they are saying:

We are the ones who are robed and covered. We are the ones who hold offerings in our hands. We are the ones dressed in bright rainbow colors. We are the ones who are staring across the water at the Temple, and at the brilliant Solar Eclipse. We are the ones who are not allowed across the water. We are the ones who are present and accounted for, but we are held back by the waters of fear and doubt. There are no sail boats here. We do not know that possibility of freedom yet. Amazing things are happening “over there,” but we are not allowed to go over there.

I still get goosebumps, when I think that I created that first card, above, having totally forgotten about this other card I’d made three years earlier!

In honor of these inner parts of me, held back by fear and lack of power… this week I created a new card that represents, for me, the Setting Free of these women, these inner parts of me who are no longer held back, who no longer want to be covered up and hidden. I found modern women dressed in the same jewel tone colors and glued them against the same background as the boats.

We are the ones who have come into our own fullness and beauty. We are the ones who have taken off our masks and robes and blossomed into strong, powerful, joyful women. We are the ones who love life and aren’t ashamed of owning our own power. We are the ones who aren’t afraid to sail away to new inner and outer destinations.

We give you power and strength, vivid color and vibrant life. We give you joy and pleasure in the present moment. We give you creativity and passion.

We are the ones who were in hiding but are now free.

My New Cards!

June 18, 2010June 18, 2010 by Anne Marie Bennett

Here are the cards I made at our 5th Annual KaleidoSoul Retreat last weekend. I am planning to post each one here over the next few weeks and share my “inner surprises” on each one with you!