I made this card intentionally, to express an inner part of me that had been stifling and complicating my journey for a looooong time now.

Who are you? I am the one who sees disaster right in front of me but I deny that it has anything to do with me.  I am the one who keeps my cool, who sits on my throne and surveys the damage from a distance.  I am the one who smiles my beatific smile and pretends that everything is okay when really it is anything but okay. I am the one who sees pirate ships nearby, and to protect you, I act like everything is all right. 

I am the one who denies disasters, problems, calamities and challenges.  I am the one who watches the TV news and says “Don’t worry about it, it has nothing to do with you,” when they are talking about global warming or environmental issues. I am the one who tells you not to worry about your weight problem, to go ahead and have another cookie because it doesn’t matter.  I am the one who is smiling on the outside, always, to hide the distress that is happening on my inside. I am the one who doesn’t want to get involved with the messiness of life, the ugliness of feelings.

What do you have to give me? I give you protection from difficult feelings and situations.  I give you a safe distance from the horrors and difficulties of life.  I give you an escape from dealing with the messiness of feelings like fear and pain and sorrow and rejection and anger and loss.

What do you want from me? I want you to be safe and happy.  I want you to be free from life’s trials and tribulations.  I want you to know that I have been working very, very hard to protect you from the hard painful work of dealing with difficult emotions.

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  Once I became aware of this particilar inner voice’s power over me, it took me a while to find the exact right image that captured her energy for me.  And she seemed to fit just perfectly between these blue rock formations!

Who are you? I am the one who sits between the blue rocks and feels sad because life didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to.  I am the who who is feeling sorry for myself.  I am the one who is disappointed when people don’t live up to my expectations or meet my “requirements.”  I am the one who resigns myself to my fate.  I am the one who wears the ugly brown shapeless garment of disappointment. 

I am the one whose eyes are clouded and I cannot see clearly because my disappointment dominates my vision.  I am the one who thinks my way is the only way and when people don’t do it “my way,” I lose respect for them and am disappointed in them.  I am the one who has learned to be continually disappointed in myself for not living up to my own high standards.

What do you have to give me? I give you an excuse to not make the effort to see the beauty and goodness that is all around you.  I give you a safe reason to not claim the joy that is your birthright.

What do you want from me? I want you to tell me that you love me, even though I’m not perfect.  I want you to love others the same way. I want you to hug me when my energy of disappointment arises for you, and remind me that acceptance is just one breath away (or two!).

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I made this card intuitively… I’d found the woman in the chair in a magazine somewhere.  She was sitting in front of a big building with lots of graffiti on it, and I didn’t like the background, so I cut her out completely and then tried out several different backgrounds until I felt “just right” about this one.

Who are you? I am the one who sits under the ancient African tree at the sunset time of my life.  I am the one who dares to sit naked here in my pearls and sandals and doesn’t care who sees my naked body.  I am the one who is comfortable in my own skin.  I am the one who is facing away from the setting sun.  I am the one who is facing another bright Sun.  I am the one who is content with where I’ve been, and with who and where I am.

What do you have to give me? I give you grounded contentment.  I give you something to look forward to.  I give you a sense of ancient history that is behind you.  I give you knowledge that there is something beyond the setting sun, something to look forward to as you age.  I give you a sense of grace and style and a remembering of who you really are.

What do you want from me? I want you to sit down and relax and enjoy your own body, your own company, your own aging.  I want you to look forward to what is next.  I want you to relax into your own skin.  I want you to be comfortable with who you are with all of who you are- body, mind and spirit.  I want you to retain your own personal authentic sense of style.

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Here are two great questions to ask a shadowed Neter (a part of you that is out of balance, or getting in your way somehow)

Instead of asking “Who are you?” I tried a few different questions with this card:

What are you curious about?

I am curious about what will happen if I am ever NOT lonely. I am curious about how it would feel to not be pretending all the time.  I am curious to know how to make this loneliness go away.  I am curious to find someone who will help me drop the mask.

What do you love about yourself?

I love being by myself.  I love having alone time.  I love not having people around me all the time.  I love that I am okay with being alone.  I love that I don’t need others all the time to make me happy!