I made this card about a month ago because I’m aware of the worrier inside of me. When I found these images, I knew immediately it was my inner WorryWart. However, I added it to my deck and didn’t do any interpretation work with it…. until this morning. My beautiful 12 year old tiger cat, Scooter, has been missing for 2 days now, and even though he’s an outdoor cat who disappears like this from time to time, I love him and miss him dearly when he does.  Last night was especially difficult as I found myself playing over and over in my head every bad thing that could have happened to him. So when I drew my WorryWart this morning in my daily SoulCollage^® reading, I wasn’t surprised at all.  His energy has been running rampant inside of me. Here is what I learned from my work with this card today:

Who are you? I am the one who frets and worries and doesn’t think that anything ever works out right. I am the one who grotesquely alters your thinking patterns.  I am the one whose sharp teeth bite and shred your calm faith to pieces. I am the one who devours you with worry and false fears.  I am the one who expects the worst to happen every time.  I am the one who begins speaking in whispers and these whispers eventually turn into panicked screams.  There is nothing gentle and kind about me.  I exist to distract you from any peaceful state you attempt to achieve.  I am the one who fills your mind with sharp prickly thoughts of impending disaster and worst case scenarios. Who are you related to in my inner world? I am the son of your mother’s Worrier. I am Nancy Negativity’s beloved sister. I am the cousin of Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop. What do you have to give me? I give you protection from surprises. When the other shoe does drop on you, I think it doesn’t hurt you as bad because I’ve prepared you for it. What do you want from me? I want you to worry all night, and all day too. I want you to give in to my power. I want you to forget about prayer and meditation and faith. I want you to toss out any ideas of trusting in the divine order of things, and I especially want you to get that idiotic quote “All shall be well and all shall be well…” out of your mind.

I’ve been giving myself a crunchload of deadlines lately, for my personal life as well as for my business.  Today I drew this card in my daily reading.  Big surprise!  It’s Gabriella, my Overachiever/Pusher.

I am the one who always needs to be DOING something. I am the one who wants to win, to be the best, who tells you not to bother doing this or that if you’re not going to make money at it right away.  I am the one who hates wasting time, who doesn’t understand why you need an hour or two to sit with your feet up reading a novel.  I am the one who makes lists and schedules and insists that you DO them all.  I am Impatience’s sister.  We are molded of the same DNA.

I give you a sense of purpose and I’m good at seeing what needs to be done and at showing you how to meet deadlines.  I want you to do, do, do, and to forget about all this “being enough” crap.  I want you to keep improving yourself.

What I am saying to you today is this… I am the one who wants you to finish everything on your TO DO list before I let you play or have fun or do something “luxurious” like relaxing with a good book. Take a step back and look at my energy and what it is doing in your life… Notice how my energy can be channelled into balanced action for your life.  I can help you but I need tight reins.  I can help you but I need some boundaries.”

I’ve had trouble sleeping the past few years. My gynecologist says it’s probably something to do with menopause. My therapist encourages me to do visualization when I go to bed. Everyone has a theory.  What I finally did was to make this card….

Who are you? I am the one who sleeps deeply and easily.  I am the one who sleeps like a rock.  I am the one who lets go of the day and allows sleep to claim me every night.  I am the one who willingly closes my eyes at night and gives in to the call of my inner dream world.  I am the one who rests and nourishes my body with sleep. What do you have to give me? I give you daily rest.  I give you the ability to let go of the day’s journey.  I give you dreams and deep physical peace. What do you want from me? I want you to stop resisting sleep.  I want you to allow yourself enough rest every night.  I want you to know you won’t miss anything as you sleep.  I want you to know you will be safe as you sleep.

This card has also suggested to me, via a Daily Reading, that I use the card and a candle in a nightly ritual, along with my journal, before getting in to the bed to go to sleep.  When I remember and allow myself to do this, it seems to put closure on my day for me and allows me to fall asleep faster, without all the usual inner “chatter.”