During a discussion with my therapist about how anxious I was feeling about something, she asked me to close my eyes and notice where that anxiety was in my body. I did as she said but I didn’t feel anything in my body at all. I felt completely numb. Then I realized… it was in my head. When I start to feel anxious, it’s like I go straight up into my head with it and forget I have a body at all!
So I started looking for images of people without bodies…and this card was born.
At first I was a bit perplexed about the image in the lower right corner, though… it’s a full-bodied person (not just a head) who has just climbed a ladder up through the clouds and is standing in the clouds, looking at the sunrise. But as you can see in one of my daily readings (below), it spoke to me and told me why I’d put it on this card, even though it doesn’t seem to fit with the theme.
Who are you? I am the one who is anxious. I am the one who goes completely into my head when I feel displaced, out of place, alone, sad, lonely, afraid, angry, disappointed. I go out of my body completely. I forget that I even have a body. I am the one who eats to numb the pain of feeling displaced and alone. I am the one who eats to drug the anxious feelings.
What do you have to give me? I give you a reminder- when you feel anxious, get back into your body. I also give you an excuse to eat when you’re not hungry, to overeat to numb out.
What do you want from me? I want you to recognize and acknowledge me when I show up. I want you to not feed me sugar when I appear. I want you to breathe, stretch, go for a walk, dance, get back into your body. I want you to remember that you are never really displaced if you remember that your true home is your soul.
Notes from Daily Readings:
December, 2005: What I have to say to you today is this: Remember to breathe, to stay in your body. Especially after Jeff has gone to sleep and you still have awake time. Breathe. Stay in your body. Anxiety doesn’t serve you… let it go.
November, 2006: I am the one who gets completely caught up in “head stuff.” I am the one who thinks reality is the stories I tell myself in my mind. I am the one who is anxious and afraid. My message for you today is this: Relax. Breathe. Know that there is more to you than what is going on in your mind. Climb the ladder out of your mind and revel in the freedom of being back at home in your body.
I got chills as I read the last line, Anne Marie! Wow! What a powerful card. I do the same thing, though the stress does show up in my body, usually after the stress is over. I love this card and your statements.
I hear you clearly. Your words and images speak well, drawing the picture of anxiety. Mind mice scurry and in the middle of the night… I say “thinking” when out of my body and into my head. I notice. A hot Epsom salt bath… with candles helps me. Sounding out the voice of it, if only tears or hollering, helps… anxiety melts if I care-take myself.