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Inner Surprises Blog

SoulCollage® Suits

By Anne Marie Bennett

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SoulCollage® Suits

Sorrow/Grief- Adding to My Card- Committee Suit

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Scmaggie If you look at my JUNE 7, 2006 entry for this card (click on Committee Cards on the right) you will see the exact same card without the little boy on it.  When I first made the card, I was focusing solely on the part of me who grieves easily, the part of me who cries so easily and feels so deeply. 

I’ve done more inner work with this card since then, though.  In dialog with her, I named her Maggie because I was watching the dvd of the final season of Six Feet Under at the time and there was a very sad woman in those episodes named Maggie. In the course of “talking” with Maggie, I discovered a VERY big thing about myself…. the reason why I cry so easily and grieve so deeply is because I have such a big tender heart that is so full of love to give.  The more deeply I love, the more deeply I feel the loss of that love when it (or the one I loved) is gone. That was a major “aha” moment in my life for me. 

So I went in search of an image of a heart to add to this card. Eventually I found this little boy who is eagerly waiting to surprise someone with his gift of love.  Now when I draw this card in a daily reading, I am reminded that the part of me who grieves easily wouldn’t do so if she didn’t love so much. 

In adding the new image to my card, I’ve added a new dimension of light to this once shadowy card.

Before, when I felt the urge to cry, to grieve, I would usually be swayed by the voice of my Inner Critic (Ethel), who would be saying things like, “You’ve cried enough about this already, get over it.”  Now when I sense tears coming, grief moving in me like the tide coming in, I am immediately aware of this part of me, and find myself saying to Ethel, “No. This is Maggie, Maggie who loves so deeply.  Maggie is not done crying yet.  She needs to cry, to feel this sadness.  Let her be.” And my inner mother gets to do some loving, nurturing, caretaking then.  I find that the tears, once accepted and blessed by my inner family, are much more healing and cleansing than they ever were before.

Lynne- Community Suit

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Sclynne This is the very first Community card I made, for my dear friend Lynne.  We met in the second grade which was (GULP!) 43 years ago!!!  When we were in sixth grade, her family moved to California and that is where she has lived ever since.  Our friendship has lasted all this time, even though it has been long distance, and we both feel grateful and blessed for this gift.  We have seen each other several times across the years, but mostly we have maintained our friendship via phone calls, letters, and emails. About ten years ago, Lynne was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  She has continued to remain active and has been taking classes slowly but surely for a degree in Ministry.  However, this fall/winter she is taking some time off to focus on healing, and guess what?  She is coming to Massachusetts to stay with Jeff and I and Sasha and Minnie for three months!  We are both looking forward to this time of renewing our friendship.

I made this card to honor Lynne about a year ago, and I share it with you now.  But I have a feeling that while she is here, I will be making a card that honors our friendship, and perhaps another card to honor her as I come to know her better during her stay with us.

Who are you? I am the one who is your oldest friend.  I am the one who was your best friend.  I am the one who moved to California when we were in the sixth grade.  I am the one who is loyal and kind and fun.  I am the musician,the student, the healer, the nurse.  I am the one who loves and craves the outdoors.  I am the one who craves family and companionship.  I am the one whose main operating system is driven by faith. What do you have to give me? I give you the loyalty of a best friend.  I give you my prayers and my intentions for a good life.  I give you blessings and a reminder that nature is where we feel closest to God. What do you want from me? I want you to honor our friendship, to listen, to share your journey with me.

Beauty- Council Suit

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Scbeauty I made this card totally intuitively several months ago, not knowing what it was about. You might look at it and think it’s about gardening, but I knew it wasn’t that because I don’t have a green thumb!

When I did the interpretation below, I discovered that the essence of this card was Beauty, which I now see has always been a theme in my life.Ā  I have always been focused on the concept of Inner Beauty, and I have always loved having beautiful things around me.Ā  After sharing this card with a friend, she pointed out that author Geneen Roth writes about feeding on beauty… that sometimes when we want to eat but aren’t hungry for food, what we’re really hungry for is beauty.Ā  I love this!!!Ā  It is so true for me.

Who are you? I am the one who is full of light and color and beauty.Ā  I am the one who is so pleased with myself, who is satisfied completely with how I look and who I am and the gifts I have to offer.Ā  I am the one who cultivates beauty in my life, and who shares this beauty with others gladly, willingly, joyfully.

What do you have to give me? I give you flowers and sweet-scented candles and light and an abundance of colors.Ā  I give you beauty.Ā  I give you beautiful things.Ā  I give you an awareness of beauty all around you and inside of you.

What do you want from me? I want you to notice beauty- in the world, in yourself, in the people who surround you.Ā  I want you to be dazzled by the world’s beauty.

Notes from days when this card showed up in my Daily Reading:

March 25, 2006- I am the one who isn’t afraid to look people in the eye.Ā  I am the one who isn’t afraid to be who I am.Ā  I am the one who is full of beauty and joy and grace.Ā  What I say to you today is this- look around you and notice the beauty in the people who cross your path today, known and unknown.Ā  Look beyond faces and bodies, to the beauty in their souls.

April 14, 2006- I am the one who sees beauty in my soul, and in your soul.Ā  I say to you today: reach inside yourself for your gorgeous, sensual, bright beauty.Ā  It is yours.Ā  Choose beauty today.Ā  Choose to see it, claim it, own it.

Butterfly- Companion Animals Suit

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Scbfly_4 I made this card at the KaleidoSoul retreat last month.  When I got there, the image of the pink figure with the butterflies in the stomach area really grabbed me.  I was a little surprised, because I really wasn’t experiencing nervousness of any kind.  Later, when really looking at it and observing my own inner world that weekend, it spoke to me of inner excitement, and of a deep and focused power centering in my solar plexus region, the area of the 3rd chakra. And guess what?  The third chakra is the only chakra I hadn’t discovered an animal totem for. On Sunday during the Animal Companions session, we listened to Seena Frost’s Guided Visualization but I didn’t “see” anything then (probably because I was facilitating that session and was more focused on holding space for everyone else!).  But during the cardmaking time afterwards, I made this card (except for the bright orange butterfly near the bottom… I added that after I got home)…. and then suddenly it was apparent to me that Butterfly is my 3rd chakra totem animal!

At first I was kindof hesitant to accept this animal, thinking I should have a more powerful animal for this seat of power chakra.  BUT… then I thought…. what could be more powerful than the butterfly’s transformation from caterpillar into a beautiful graceful winged creature? So here is my 3rd Chakra Butterfly card.  I haven’t yet done the interpretation, but I will post it here when I do. 

Claiming Abundance- Committee

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Scclaimabundance I made this SoulCollageĀ® card at our KaleidoSoul SoulCollageĀ® retreat a few weekends ago.  It looks complex, but it is only two images.  Somehow, when I held the star/hand image over the background, my heart just said “Ahhhhh, that’s it!” And so I glued it on and made the card, following that affirmative impulse.  Even though I really loved the card, I didn’t know exactly what it was saying to me.  I did my own challenge from last week (write for 10 minutes non-stop starting every sentence with I AM THE ONE WHO…) with this card and here is what I discovered:

Who are you? I am the one who is reaching for the bright shining diamond.  I am the one who already has the diamond in my hand.  I am the one whose body and life are sprinkled with glittery diamond dust.  I am the one with my eyes on what I am reaching for.  I am the one who doesn’t have far to reach. I am the one who knows I will be able to grab the diamond.  I am the one who reaches into the sky and has my pick of many diamonds.  I am the one with diamond stardust in my hair.  I am the Keeper of the Diamonds and the Seeker of Brilliance, both at the same time! I am the one who reaches and attains.  Who knows that there are more diamonds where this one came from. This is not my first diamond and I know that it won’t be my last.  I am the one who is confident and aglow with the beauty and brilliance and wealth that is mine for the taking.  I am the one whose inner skies are studded with wealth and beauty- abundant wealth and beauty.

I am the one who shines in naked brilliance.  Who reaches with my whole self towards that which is singular, unique, splendid, rare, valuable, brilliant.  I am the one whose physical self is illuminated with the beauty and radiance of those diamonds, my life.  I am the one with proud and radiant strength and confidence in my own inner radiance, my own dazzling inner beauty. What do you have to give me? I give you an awareness of the dazzling abundance that surrounds you.  I give you the confidence and ability and desire to reach for this abundance, and to claim it as your own. What do you want from me? I want you to look around you and see the abundance that is yours!  And then I want you to claim it as your own.

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