If you look at my JUNE 7, 2006 entry for this card (click on Committee Cards on the right) you will see the exact same card without the little boy on it.  When I first made the card, I was focusing solely on the part of me who grieves easily, the part of me who cries so easily and feels so deeply. 

I’ve done more inner work with this card since then, though.  In dialog with her, I named her Maggie because I was watching the dvd of the final season of Six Feet Under at the time and there was a very sad woman in those episodes named Maggie. In the course of “talking” with Maggie, I discovered a VERY big thing about myself…. the reason why I cry so easily and grieve so deeply is because I have such a big tender heart that is so full of love to give.  The more deeply I love, the more deeply I feel the loss of that love when it (or the one I loved) is gone. That was a major “aha” moment in my life for me. 

So I went in search of an image of a heart to add to this card. Eventually I found this little boy who is eagerly waiting to surprise someone with his gift of love.  Now when I draw this card in a daily reading, I am reminded that the part of me who grieves easily wouldn’t do so if she didn’t love so much. 

In adding the new image to my card, I’ve added a new dimension of light to this once shadowy card.

Before, when I felt the urge to cry, to grieve, I would usually be swayed by the voice of my Inner Critic (Ethel), who would be saying things like, “You’ve cried enough about this already, get over it.”  Now when I sense tears coming, grief moving in me like the tide coming in, I am immediately aware of this part of me, and find myself saying to Ethel, “No. This is Maggie, Maggie who loves so deeply.  Maggie is not done crying yet.  She needs to cry, to feel this sadness.  Let her be.” And my inner mother gets to do some loving, nurturing, caretaking then.  I find that the tears, once accepted and blessed by my inner family, are much more healing and cleansing than they ever were before.