Every year around Mother’s Day, a part of me begins to grieve the fact that I chose not to have children.  This was a personal choice and to this day I do not regret it. However, around this time of year, one or two of my inner voices simply feel sad.

At first, I fought the feeling, trying to rationalize it away.  But then I learned to accept this sadness.  It only lasts a day or two; it is part of my personal history and I believe it is meant to be honored, not shoved away.

Last year while flipping through magazines, seeking images for a workshop I was leading, I came across the image of mother and child that is on the right side of my card shown here.  And as I gazed into her eyes that first time, I could almost hear her saying “You would have been a good mother.”  My heart brightened at this message and I determined to make a card to honor this new voice inside of me.  She feels like a champion somehow.  I don’t know if she is Committee or Council, but it doesn’t matter. Her wisdom runs through my mind and heart and eases the difficult sadness I usually feel at this time of year:

Who are you?
I am the one who would have been a good mother and you know it.  I am the one who is so good with children.  I am the one who is comforting and kind and accepting of children.  I am the one who knows how to take care of children.  I am the one who loves children.

I am the one who is tired of all the inner voices who are telling you you would’ve been a bad mother.  I am the one who knows this is hogwash.  I am the one who knows I can be impatient and who has a quick temper BUT I am also the one who knows that that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been a good mother.  I am the one who knows in my body-mind-soul that I would have been a good mother.

I am the one whose gifts for mothering in this lifetime have had to take other forms. 

I am the one who didn’t have a great mother when I was young AND I am the one who now knows that that doesn’t mean I would’ve been a bad mother.

I am the one who is strong and soft, who is safe and vulnerable.  I am the one who holds those I love with single-hearted focus.  I am the one who is held by the feminine spirit of Mother God.

What gifts do you bring?
I am the one who gives you the KNOWING that you would’ve been a good mother.  I am the one who gives you the confidence to say this out loud and often: “I would have been a good mother. I chose NOT to be a child-bearing mother in this lifetime and that is exactly as it should be.”
What do you want from me?I want you to stop beating yourself up for choosing to not have children.  I want you to stop the Inner Naysayers who have been feeding you all kinds of LIES about why you aren’t a mother.  I want you to believe with all your heart that you would’ve been a good mother.

You have all the qualities of a good mother- you are loving and generous and you know how to nurture.  Just because you have shortcomings, doesn’t mean that you would have failed as a mother.  I want you to OWN THIS!!!