I made this card, intentionally of course, to honor my mother soon after I began practicing SoulCollage.  She had died the previous year, so I found it very healing to make this card to honor her life and my relationship with her.  She has shown up several times in my Daily Readings as well, which has been a very interesting and healing thing for me.

Who are you?

I am the one who is your mother, who welcomed you into our family with great joy and a thankful heart. I am the one for whom my family was everything. I am the one who was abused as a child, who grew up with much fear, self-doubt and insecurity. I am the one who is creative and artistic, who loves making things and using colored pens and rubber stamping.  I am the one who knows the value of friendship. I am the one who loves autumn and nature and the ocean.  I am the one who has a deep faith and believes in the power of prayer.  I am the one who tried so hard to be a good mother but lots of times things got in the way.  I am the one who created a home for you and your brothers.  I am the one who loved your father so much. 
I am the one who is so proud of you and your brothers. I am the one who never believed I was worthy, who never believed in myself.  I am the one who never thought I was enough, and who was always worried about what other people would think about me, about you, about us.  I am the one who took life so seriously, who found it hard to laugh.

What do you have to give me? I give you the knowing that you were loved as a child, and that you are deeply loved even now.  I give you artistic ability and vision.  I give you faith and a prayer life and the knowledge of the value of friendship.

What do you want from me? I want you to believe in yourself, to know that you are special, loved, chosen, wanted.  I want you to not make the same mistakes that I did.  I want you to go to the ocean and to York Beach often and remember me there. I was happy there.  I want you to remember that I was happy being your mother.

NOTES:

11/18/05- Reading/Question about my two stepdaughters who weren’t getting along- What I have to say to you today is this: I know you are worried about the girls, especially the older one.  Remember that she needs love and kindness now.  Boundaries, yes.  But love and kindness most of all.  Remember when she was very young and you were able to give her that. You can give her that now.  And understanding too.

5/24/07- Daily Reading- I am the one who cherished you and who loved being your mother.  Are you surprised that I show up in your daily reading the week of your birthday?  I’m not!  My message for you today is this: I can see things very differently now.  I hope that you will let go of everything else and only remember the love that was/is mine for you, dear daughter.  And it is no coincidence that I showed up today, the day you also drew your “Time In A Bottle” card!  In my life, I also put joyful things at the very bottom of my many many to-do lists.  That doesn’t mean that YOU have to do the same thing.

10/22/08- Daily Reading- I am the one who gave birth to you, who loves you even beyond death.  I am the one who is your mother.  My message for you today is this: I held you back in life because I thought I was protecting you. I didn’t know any other way.  MY fears got in YOUR way and I am sorry about that.  Don’t let them get in your way now, my darling daughter.  All is well and all will be well.  I didn’t know that when I was alive but I do know it now.  I want you to be healed and whole and free.  So let it go… let it all go.

2/11/08- Daily Reading- I am the one who is your mother.  I am the one who gave birth to you, who loves kittens and chocolate, the ocean, and YOU.  I am the one who always felt connected to and IS still connected to you. My message for you today is this: I still love you.  I see and am aware of the emotional work you are doing around the fact of our wounded relationship, and it’s okay.  I didn’t know that the damage I did lasted this long.  I am sorry.  I was the best mother I knew how to be.  Love transcends death.  I am still here watching over you and sending blessings your way.