When I was laid up in bed several years ago with bronchitis, I started watching two hours of Judging Amy reruns every day, and somehow I got hooked.Ā After a few weeks, I couldn’t justify lying in bed until 2 every afternoon, so I began recording the episodesĀ and then watching them at night or catching up in weekend marathons.
If you don’t know this show, it’s about a Juvenile Court judge (Amy) who is in her 30’s and lives at home with her mother (Maxine) who is a social worker, and her 10 year old daughter (Lauren).Ā While I found the courtroom scenes, the social work stories, and the love triangles intriguing, I still wasn’t quite sure why I was so drawn to this show.
A few of my inner voices were intent on judging me for this prime time obsession.Ā Can’t you find something better to do with your time?Ā This is ridiculous.Ā You are becoming a TV junkie.Ā How juvenile are you anyway?
But I felt, somewhere deep within me, the need to keep watching it.Ā It felt like this was more than a television show to me somehow, and I decided to trust these inner nudges to keep watching.Ā I decided to trust my intuition, and to develop a “wait and see” attitude.Ā So I kept watching.
Sometime in the middle of this Judging Amy Marathon,Ā I did a SoulCollageĀ® reading where I asked a question of my deck, and then drew 4 cards.Ā Interestingly enough, THREE of those FOUR cards had something to do with the topic of mothering.
As I journaled through the reading, I came across a startling realization!
Here is part of what the Divine Mother card “said” to me as part of this reading: Good, truly deep mothering is not something that you ever received, although your mom’s intentions were good.Ā And so you are now struggling with the process of inner mothering. I can help you with this.Ā
Watching Judging Amy is helping you too. Do not brush it aside as “just a tv show…”Ā YouĀ are receiving much wisdom and insight from watching Maxine and Amy, and Amy with Lauren…. Embrace what you are learning there. Be glad of it and grateful for it too.
I was completely startled to see those words coming from my hand, and from the voice of the Divine Mother!Ā What she told me made perfect sense.Ā It was all suddenly crystal clear.
After that I watched the show with a bit more of a focus, and the lessons I learned on what it means to mother myself came faster than I could write them down!
I love telling this story about myself because it’s a clear reminder of how I can and should always trust my intuition.Ā My soul truly DOES know what will serve me best… all I have to do is listen and follow!