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Inner Surprises Blog

SoulCollage Inspiration

By Anne Marie Bennett

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Survivor- Council Suit

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ScsurvivorThis is one of the first SoulCollageĀ® cards I made.  I created it intuitively… not knowing what the card was about, just responding to my inner self being drawn to the images.  As it turns out, this is one of my most powerful archetypes, the Survivor.

Who are you?

I am the one who has survived fire and storm and famine.

I am the one who has danced in the flaming forest and wrestled with the fierce wild animals of the night.

I am the one who is so sure of my own inner being that I can close my eyes and be with myself even when the enemy is right beside me.

I am the one who tames dragons and tigers and leopards even when they are looking at me with a deathly hunger in their eyes.

I am the one who knows that these wild enemies will never go away completely.

I also know that they do not have the power to destroy me unless I give them that power.

So I am the one who befriends them and listens to them and allows them to teach me what they will.

I am the one who feels the beating of my own precious heart and knows that that is where my strength and courage come from. I am the one who is in touch with my innermost core of power, who allows that power to burn through my fears until I see them for what they are- proud sentient beings who have been sent to protect me. I am the one who sends you mysterious angels after you have faced down the wildness of your own fears.

What do you want from me?

I want you to hold your hand over your own heart, and feel and hear the rhythm of your own authentic power.  I want you to know that you can call on me to lead you through the flaming forests, to show you how to sit still and befriend the enemy of your fears.

What do you have to give me?

I give you power, and authority and inner strength to face the wild tigers of your night, whatever they may be.

NOTES FROM DAILY READINGS:

March 2006-

I am also about Courage.  It is a courageous thing you do- going to therapy, all your inner work, being in relationships, dealing with your body issues, creating the depths and layers of KaleidoSoul.  I am with you, and my eyes are open.  You can rest easy and go deeper within, because my eyes are open.

August 2006-

I am the one who has survived breast cancer, an emotionally deprived childhood, codependent mothering, difficult stepchildren, an alcoholic love relationship, Jeff’s cancer, the deaths of my parents, an emotionally abusive boss.  I am the one who has brought you through it all.  Today I am saying to you: look at where you are, on the other side of the fiery drama.  In a place of peace and rest, where it is easy and safe for you to sit still and close your eyes and be with yourself.  So remember to do that this week, and every week.  Sit still, hand over your heart, remembering who you are.  Do not mistake the power there is in that.

July 2007-

I am the one whose fiercest, most difficult battles are behind me.  I am the one who has survived everything with my own sense of self intact.  I am the one who is at home with the wild animals.  This one is my sister.  She has been my companion on the journey and she sits with me, rests with me now.  My message for you today is this: The fiery dramas are BEHIND you.  They do not need to define you any more.  Pause now in this resting place that is your life right now… and give yourself time to be with yourself.  This position I am in is the ultimate healing posture.  And you can close your eyes and go within with no fear, because you can trust that the others are watching out for you.

Great Expectations- Committee Suit

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I made this card to honor the part of me who is intent on unrealistic and grand expectations.  While I believe that sometimes it’s good to have high expectations of myself and others… I’ve come to discover in my life that a lot of my pain and struggle comes from unrealistic expectations.

Who are you? I am the one who is always looking for bigger and better.  I am the one who worships at the altar of expectations that are too big, too grand, too unrealistic.  I am the one who is always looking up and away instead of what at is right in front of me.

What do you have to give me? I give you a warning that you are veering off into unrealistic territory. I give you a warning to stop looking up and away.  I give you a warning that pain and struggle are close by.

What do you need from me? I need you to notice when I start worshiping the mountain of gold.  I need you to help me to make my expectations more reasonable. 

Love- Council Suit

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Sclove This card has been in my Deck for a few years now, and I thought it appropriate to share it with you the week of Valentine’s Day! For me, it represents the archetype of Love. I am the one whose primary force/power/energy/strength is LOVE! I am the one whose main direction is love, who operates only from love, who guides the direction of your life with love. My message for you today is this:  Love is a strong, deep force in your life.  Pay attention to how Love flows through you from above and outward into the world.  Be aware of the many, many ways you are loved today, and be aware of how you are passing that love on to others.  You know that famous Beatles song… All You Need Is Love?  Well, it’s TRUE!  That is my story and I’m stickin’ to it!

Bubble Woman- Committee Suit

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I made this card intentionally, hoping to express a part of me from the recent past.Ā  I’ve been working for a year now with Laurel Mellin’s The Solution Method, (also known as Emotional Brain Training) and the biggest gift I’ve received from this deep inner work is the ability to really feel what I’m feeling and when I’m feeling it!

So I thought of making a card that showed the part of me who refuses to feel anything, is afraid to really feel the messy emotions of life.Ā  Actually, I was never TAUGHT to feel them, and I never felt SAFE feeling them.

Now I do, and I am so grateful.. but I wanted to honor this part of me anyway, because she really is an integral part of my life and she isn’t going to go away.

I am the one who is encased in this glass bubble- safe, protected.Ā  I am the one who is safe from the fire, safe and protected from the bubbling rabble of pieces and parts of you that have strong feelings. I am cool and calm and collected, safe in my womb.Ā  No one and nothing can reach me here.Ā  I am turned away from these angry, sad, fearful, joyful, anguished parts of you.Ā  I don’t want anything to do with them.Ā  They are messy, dirty, bloody, frightening, and I want them to go away. I am the one who wants to stay in this Numb Bubble and not feel anything.Ā  Ever.Ā  I don’t like feeligns.Ā  They are messy and complicated and time-consuming.Ā  I like this bubble I’ve found that keeps me safe from my feelings. I give you protection and safety from the heat of emotions.Ā  I give you numbness to protect you.Ā  My world is not colorful but it is safe. What do I want from you?Ā  I want you to NOT FEEL anything!Ā  I want you to keep me away from those ragged feelings of yours.

Slim Girl/Heavy Shadows- Committee Suit

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I made this card (rather… this card made itself!) last fall during a workshop I was leading at my home.  I don’t usually create cards when I facilitate because I usually choose to focus on the participants and their experience instead. 

BUT… that afternoon, these images grabbed hold of me and would not let go!

I am the one who is standing strong and powerful and happy.  I am the one who is in the foreground of your life right now. I am the one who is confident that the heavy shadows are behind me.  They are a part of me, but they are behind me now.  My message to you today is this: Lighten up!  In food, in body, mind and in spirit.  I am telling you… all is WELL!  These heavy parts of us are still here, and will always be here with us.  But now, they are only shadows.  I am foreground in your life now.  You have chosen me and here I will stay.