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Inner Surprises Blog

SoulCollage®

By Anne Marie Bennett

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SoulCollage®

A Conversation with My Overwhelmed Self

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Overwhelmed

I am the one who feels overwhelmed, squashed flat, buried. I am the one who sees no way out. I am the one who despairs becasue no one notices that I am being squashed flat, buried. I am the one who feels so alone even though I see that others are also buried. I am the one who feels helpless.

Me: What is overwhelming you?

O: Your never-ending to-do lists. All the things you want us to “do” this year. All of your efforts at self-improvement.

Me: What is overwhelming you MOST of all?

O: (sighs) These other Neters (parts) who say mean things to us, who don’t want us to feel whole and happy… all the Neters who are keeping us from letting go of what needs to be let go of. Especially Killjoy.

Me: Thank you for letting me know. How can I help you?

O: You can help me by SLOWING DOWN on the to-do lists. You can help me by slowing down the pace of your days, weeks, years, life. You can help me by calming down Killjoy. Talk with him, will you please? Give him some attention. Find out why he is influencing you so much these days.

Killjoy

Me:Ā  Okay, I will! Killjoy, please join me.

KJ: Yeah? What you want, lady? (pokes finger in my chest)

Me: Hey! (removes finger) It’s me, the one whose mind you inhabit. Let’s sit down. So I hear you’re having a big effect on some of my other Neters (inner parts).

KJ: (gruffly) So what?

Me: So… I need to know what’s going on with you.Ā  Your energy is out of balance and it’s making all of us uncomfortable.

KJ: (folds arms across chest) I don’t care.

Me: I’m sorry to hear that. I’m remembering, however, that you used to care. I’m remembering that you have been an integral, good force in my life and that when you are in balance you are an excellent Security Guard, protecting me from unnecessary influences. Do you remembering having that responsibility in my inner world?

KJ: (not meeting my eyes) Yes.

Me: Good, good! Can you tell me why you left that security guard post? And why you’re back to harrassing me? I really want to help you.

KJ: Why aren’t you pissed off at me and trying to kill me?

Me: Because you’re an important part of my life. And I love and respect and care about you. I want to know what’s thrown you off balance so I can help you get back to your best self.

KJ: I don’t know… I guess it’s easy to go to the dark side when you’re not paying attention to me.

Me: I’m sorry. You’re right. The second half of last year I was so distract because of Suzy’s (our dog’s) decline and death, and all of my work obligations, and everything else.

KJ: Yeah, well, I’m sorry about that and all. I’m really KJ- KEEPER OF THE JOY. KJ-KILLJOY is my worst self. When I feel unloved and unwanted, I start killing the Joy instead of keeping it.

Me: Oh! Right! I see. I see. And I hear you. Thank you for telling me all of this.

*****

Afterthought: I am seeking images for a Keeper of the Joy card and will post it here when I have completed that. In the meantime, I can continue to dialogue with KJ when he’s out of balance in order to bring him back to Keeping the Joy instead of Killing It.

PS As a result of this inner dialogue, my Overwhelmed Self became much less overwhelmed!

 

My Heart Chakra Companion- Cat

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4th Chakra- Cat

My heart chakra Companion Animal has changed over the years. First it was Little Brown Bird. Then it was Crow. And now it is Cat.

I have loved many felines over the years, but this card is not about any one of them. Rather, this Neter is about what I call “Capital C Cat” or the Larger Story of Cat.Ā  This Companion who resides in my heart chakra space brings me gifts and qualities of the feline.

Who are you?
I am the one who companions your lovely heart. I am the one who brings softness and unconditional love, and mystery to your heart.

I am the one who comforts you when your heart is heavy and sad. I am the one who reminds you that you are not alone. I am the one who waits on you to express your heart’s sadness.

I am the one who teaches you about what it means to love unconditionally.

My message for you today is this– sit for a few minutes now in the silence and breathe with me… breathe unconditional love into your heart space and watch it expand.Ā  You have so much love inside of you, dear one. Allow it to fill you up to overflowing. Know that this love is continually in your heart and watch it flow out to those who love you and to those whom you love. I am here to guard your heart, to guard this love, and to make sure that you feel it with every fiber of your being.

My Writing Muse

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This card started out to be a card about my inner writer. I had the image on the bottom that I’d purchased from an artist on Etsy. but there were images above the green stuff over her head that I couldn’t relate to and I needed to cover them up.

So as I was playing around with laying other images on top of the card, I had a great revelation when I laid this one down!

Suddenly, the card was no longer about the part of me who writes, but the Muses who bring me the ideas!

Who are you?
We are the ones who shower you with ideas. We are where all your story ideas come from!

What do you have to give me?
We gift you with a bazillion ideas. We keep them flowing. We just keep coming up with them, seemingly out of nowhere.

What do you want from me?
We want you to let go of the thought that you have to follow through on EVERY idea that we bring you. We want you to use your IGS (inner guidance system) to discern which ones to write from and which ones to ignore.

 

Sarah Adams- A Place To Call Home

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Once in a while a character on TV or in a movie, a character steps off of the screen and into my heart/imagination.

Such is the case with Sarah Adams on the Australian drama, A Place to Call Home.

The character of Sarah is a nurse returning to 1950s Australia after 20 years in Europe. A convert to Judaism, Sarah emerged from the horrors of World War II strong, principled, and defiant-a thoroughly modern woman still bearing the weight of the past.

I have seen the entire series three times now! Somewhere in the middle of being with her story over the course of a few years, I made this card for my deck as a way to keep her energy present with me as I go forward in my life.

This is one of those cards that could easily be in one of several suits.

Sometimes she reminds me of my own inner tenacity and spirituality and my ability to survive difficult challenges. At those times, she is part of my Inner Committee.

At other times her energy seems wiser, bigger and broader than me, and at these times she is part of my Council Suit.

And finally, once in a while she feels like a sister/friend, in which case she holds a place in my Community Suit.

Who are you?
I am the one who survived the Holocaust. I am the one who cares deeply for those I love. I am the one who had to make many sacrifices. I am the one who has suffered so much loss. I am the one who gave up my Catholic upbringing to embrace the Jewish faith when I married my husband. I am the one who is proud to be a Jew. I am the one who practices my spiritual rituals no matter what other people think. I am the one who is strong of heart and mind and body. I am the one who has no patience for injustice. I am the one who speaks my mind.

What do you have to give me?
I give you permission to speak up and to claim the truth, no matter what. I give you a big, steely heart that doesn’t suffer fools gladly. I give you wisdom and truth. I give you strength.

What do you want from me?
I want you to remember that you have also survived much. I want you to know that you have the same steely inner strength and that it will get you through anything.

Is there anything else you want to say to me today?
Yes. My character is fictional, but I represent many people in your life as well as your own.

 

 

 

All My Companion Animals

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I’ve been practicing SoulCollage since 2005 and finally am at a place where my chakra Companion Animals are all in place. For a while there, during and after my second cancer journey in 2011-2012, some of the original animals moved on and new ones moved in.Ā  A few months ago I made one SoulCollageĀ® card that contains ALL of their energies, PLUS the energy of White Owl, who in the last several months has indicated to me that she oversees all of the Companions. So… a Companion for the Companions, I presume!

Who are you?

We are the ones who give your body energy and strength and fluidity. We are the ones who accompany your body on its daily journey of life.

I am your first (root) chakra companion Wolf. I am the one who reminds you to plant all four (okay, TWO!) feet on the earth and to keep your energy there when you get too much “in your head.”Ā  I am the one who reminds you that you are connected to the earth, to the sacred earth, and to your ancestors.

I am your second (sacral) chakra companion Sea Lion.Ā  I am the one who reminds you to be joyful, to play, to activate your creativity, and to love your sensual body, no matter how heavy or light it is. I am the one who urges you to remain fluid in your movement and in the journey through life.

I am your third (solar plexus) chakra companion Fox.Ā  I am the one who brings you the fire and deep truth of your own authentic being. I am the one who is powerful and strong, and I impart that to you as much as you will let me.

I am your fourth (heart) chakra companion Cat. I am the one who gifts you with softness and openness of heart. I am the one who sees in the dark and reminds you that you too can see into all of your own dark places with softness. I am the one who gifts you with unconditional love and a heart that loves that way as well.

We are your fifth (throat) chakra companions Lion and Lioness.Ā  I am the one who encourages you to roar when you need to roar and to be silent when you need to be silent. I am the one who guards what comes into and goes out of your mouth. I am the one who is powerful. Know that your need to express yourself is very strong and we are here to assist you at all times with that expression.

I am your sixth (third eye) chakra companion Dolphin. I am the one who has resided here since you were born. I am the one who gifts you with a deep intuitive knowing about many things. I am also here to remind you to play, to laugh, to have fun, to enjoy this precious life you’ve been given.

I am your seventh (crown) chakra companion Dragonfly. I am the one who came to you in your 30’s as a symbol of Spirit. I am the one who reminds you that you are not alone. I am the one who continually shows you how you are connected to every living being on earth.