When I was 15, I had a fun job in a library.  I have always loved books so I really loved this job.  A few other kids my age worked there with me.  During break times, we would be in the conference room together.  They’d be chatting, and I’d be scribbling happily in my journal.  Sometimes I’d join in their conversations, but mainly I used my free time for writing.

One day, Bob (one of my peers) challenged me.  “Why are you always writing in that notebook?”  He was definitely curious.

At first I was startled; then confusion took over!  I had no idea why I wrote so much.  I just did.  One of the older librarians was having lunch with us that day, and she overheard Bob’s question.  She saw how puzzled I was and noticed my inability to answer, so she responded for me.  “Anne Marie writes to express herself,” she said.

Aha!  A lot of puzzle pieces fell into place right then, and my eyes shone with the absolute truth that her words gave me.  Yes, that’s exactly it, I thought with gladness.  Writing is my means of self-expression.

The writing is mine.  Mine alone.  It got me through a difficult adolescence, and many a confusing love gone wrong.  It got me through my challenging college years, and through my first teaching job 500 miles from everyone and everything I knew.  It got me through a difficult decade with my stepfamily, and it got me through two cancer diagnoses.  It is still getting me through.  It is one of the few things in my life that has been a constant, positive companion since I was very young.

When I discovered SoulCollage® in 2005, my writing became deeper and fed my soul even more.  I now count SoulCollage® right up there with writing as my main mode for self-expression!

Time for Reflection

What is the one thing in your life that is yours alone, your main mode of self-expression?  It doesn’t have to be a solitary pursuit like my writing.  It could be cooking, dancing, gardening, jewelry making, teaching, singing or something else that is uniquely yours.

What is something you can do today to activate and celebrate this one thing?

Did you enjoy this  essay? There are lots more essays relating SoulCollage® to our lives, along with card making, journaling, and reading suggestions in Anne Marie’s book,
Into the Heart of SoulCollage.

Were it possible for us to wait for ourselves
to come into the room,
not many of us would find
our hearts breaking into flower
as we heard the door handle turn.

~ Rebecca West

I want you to imagine this scene, so read through what’s below, then close your eyes and imagine that it is happening to YOU.

You are standing in a crowded room at a party. There is music in the background; people are talking in pairs and groups all around you. Glasses are clinking, laughter and a savory aroma is coming from the kitchen. Someone is refilling your glass with your favorite liquid.

Suddenly, the door into this room opens and someone new walks into the party. You look up curiously. The door is on the other side of the room so you cannot see this person clearly until they are a few feet away.

But then you do see this person… and it is YOU!

Imagine that you are watching this on your DVD or DVR player, and press the Pause button. Pause this scene.  Pretend that the person who just walked into this party is your best, most wonderful, authentic, true self.  What does she/he look like? What is she/he wearing? How is this person holding their body?

Then look at yourself, the one who was already at the party. How are you reacting to your True Self who just showed up? Are you about to turn away? About to go find someone more interesting to talk with?

Or… as Rebecca West so poignantly writes… is your heart breaking into flower at this very connection with yourself?

Questions to Ponder

1. How does it feel to “break into flower” when meeting up with your true self?  Or how would it feel if you’re not there yet?

2. List 5 ways that you can be more welcoming to yourself this week.

3. Make a SoulCollage® card that gives image to you, breaking into flower when you see yourself.

I had to get over my fear of running
through the world naked
and learn to say,
“Take me or leave me.”
~ Steven Spielberg

There is something about this quote that makes me smile, that makes me feel feisty and smart and strong, both of my feet planted firmly on the ground.  And look who said it! Mr. Spielberg is a world class film creator and director.  We would be minus some truly extraordinary films if he did not continually embrace the “take me or leave me” mantra.

Don’t we all have a fear of running through the world naked? Isn’t that the stuff that real nightmares are made of? Who wouldn’t be afraid of actually doing that (except, perhaps, for those “streakers” from the 60’s)?  Who wouldn’t be fearful of the vulnerability that this suggests?

And aren’t we all equally afraid of baring our hearts and our souls?

However, if I can manage to strip my inner being to the core, plant my feet firmly on the earth and say, “Okay, whoever is out there, THIS IS WHO I AM. TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME,” then I have empowered myself to embrace freedom; I have allowed myself the space to continue to grow into who I really am.

Questions to Ponder:

Is there a part of you who is hiding itself away for fear of being hurt?  Get in touch with that part of you. What does it really want to say … or do?  How does it want to express itself?  You might want to make a SoulCollage® card for this part of you.

Is there another part of you that is ready (or getting ready) to stand up and say, “Take me or leave me?” to whoever needs to hear it?  Get in touch with this part of you also.  Find some images and make a card for your very own Take-Me-Or-Leave-Me Neter.

Invite these two parts of you to dialog with each other. For example, you might start like this:

Fearful/Vulnerable Self- I don’t know how you can be so self-assured.
Take Me Or Leave Me- It takes a little time, and a lot of self-love.
F/VS- What do you mean? I don’t know how to do that…

…and so on…

Or listen within and begin with whatever YOUR inner parts are saying.