Soul Songs: Your SoulCollage NewsletterSoul Songs
Your SoulCollage® Newsletter

Enabling us to sing the songs
we were born to sing
through the practice
of SoulCollage®
Issue #177   March 2020 Theme:  Guilt/Shame
Welcome!

Greetings, and welcome to Soul Songs, the official KaleidoSoul Newsletter, and the only monthly newsletter that focuses exclusively on SoulCollage® ideas, resources and artists.

Our intention is to fill each issue (and your life) with inspiration, soul-solace and delight. Whether you are new to SoulCollage®, or already immersed in the creation of your deck, Soul Songs is for you.

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Soul Singing with Anne Marie
Anne Marie, the creator of KaleidoSoul.com 
Hi! I'm Anne Marie, the creator of KaleidoSoul.com, and a SoulCollage® Facilitator in Massachusetts and worldwide online. This column is all about presenting ways to get your soul singing with the deep, wide, wonder-full process that is SoulCollage®.



Guilt vs. Shame

I learned a profound lesson about guilt and shame many years ago from an Episcopal priest. I had never thought much about the difference between these two feelings until he explained it in a sermon:

Guilt is saying “I made a mistake and I'm sorry.”

Shame is saying “I am a mistake and I'm not worthy of forgiveness.”


This lesson engraved itself on my heart, and I have taken it forward with me into my life. I now realize that it is natural and necessary to look at the mistakes I make and to feel guilty for making them. If I can admit my mistake and say I am sorry, then I can open to forgiveness, accept forgiveness, and move on.

I also realized that it's not natural and it's totally unnecessary for me to be ashamed of myself for a mistake I've made, or for a part of myself that I don't like, because shame makes me less than myself. Shame takes me away from myself. Shame makes opening to forgiveness impossible.

Time for Reflection

Take some time this week to meditate on and journal about the difference between guilt and shame as described above, in relation to your own life’s story.

Make a SoulCollage® card that expresses how you feel when someone shames you, or when you feel ashamed of a mistake that you made.

Allow the images on the card to tell you their story.

The next time you make a mistake, acknowledge the guilt and say you are sorry to yourself or to whoever was affected by your mistake. Do not allow shame to weasel its way in by ignoring the guilt.

Editor’s Note: This story is from Anne Marie Bennett’s book of 88 essays, Into the Heart of SoulCollage®: Diving into the Many Gifts and Possibilities of SoulCollage®, now available on Amazon.


Anne Marie Bennett is a SoulCollage® Facilitator / Trainer, published author, website goddess, and two-time cancer survivor who was mentored directly by Seena Frost. In 2005, she fell in love with SoulCollage® and was inspired to use her professional experience along with web technology as a means to serve the world by putting SoulCollage® "out there" in a really big way with KaleidoSoul. Anne Marie lives in eastern Massachusetts with her middle-aged husband and two adolescent felines who keep them hopping. Anne Marie’s books about SoulCollage® are available here.

 
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Guest Columnist: Michele Manos

Dancing with Shame


(Michele inner critic) “Shame is …. just stewing in a toxic, hideous feeling of low self-worth and self-loathing. …you’ve got to pick yourself up, learn from it, learn some more….” Actor, writer and director Ben Affleck describing his struggles with addiction (New York Times print version, 2/23/2020).

Shame is a powerful, often devastating, emotion. While it can take us to depths of self-abhorrence, it can also lead us to a deeper understanding of how to love and nurture ourselves. With all its darkness, it can serve as a bright beacon and revealing spotlight.

The Inner Critic (a SoulCollage® Committee card that Seena Frost suggested we all make) seems a useful starting point from which to consider Shame. The harsh figure in my card, shown here, often remarks “I can’t believe you did that. How stupid! You keep making the same mistakes.” At times, my Inner Critic wallows in shame. However, once the emotion has time to settle, my Inner Critic guides me to “critique” rather than “critic” mode, encouraging a deeper look at how I came to do something shamefully regretful. Recently the card spoke: “Rather than being so cold toward yourself, why not chill about this situation and find some informative neutrality?” In learning to befriend and transform Shame, I’ve also become more adept at keeping my Inner Critic in balance.
I have a card that’s specifically about Shame (it’s the one in the center, above). I call it “Ashamed of my Inner Demons,” which represents one who is horrifically embarrassed when those shadow parts sneak out and make a fool of me. To its right is a balancing Neter that can serve as an antidote to such depths of shame: “The Shadowdancer,” one who welcomes the dark parts and engages for an enlightening and colorful ride. I made these cards on the same day, years ago, not knowing that they’d be a dynamic duo.

Recently, I needed a more powerful ally to deal with Shame and other forms of self-defeat. I remembered that Seena Frost encouraged making distinct cards for multiple aspects of The Fool. Thus, my Clown Council card (left) came forth. This card has helped me access the entertaining and healing energy of the lovable Clown archetype, and encourages me to dig deep into Shame while maintaining the levity of wit and humor.

I am quite familiar with the Greek word for shame: Ντροπή (pronounced dro-PEE). This word is used to deploy messages ranging from a serious “shame on you” (my mother admonishing me for talking rudely to someone) to a tsk-tsk of disapproval (like showing up to a church function in my halter top and hip hugger jeans). The accompanying facial expression or hand gesture often clarifies the seriousness of the word’s utterance.

The most memorable time this word was spoken to me was 15 years ago in a village in Crete (my ancestral homeland). In a rest area, I casually greeted (in Greek) a traditionally dressed, elderly woman. We got through the conversation well enough (I have good native pronunciation) for her to learn the names and origins of all four of my grandparents, and for her to remark proudly that I was a “real Cretan woman.” As the complexity of conversation in Greek progressed, I had to apologize that my language skills were limited and that I had forgotten a lot. She abruptly ended the conversation there with a simple “Ντροπή.” I walked away devastated, sitting quietly with my tears before rejoining my group.

My reflections on that experience continue to feed, and sometimes devastate, me. Importantly, her remark was not a “shame on you,” but, rather, a “how sad for you.” It was sad for me indeed, but also shameful for me. I am chronically disappointed and ashamed of my waning connections to my culture and ethnic roots. In preparation for this article, I reviewed my entire SoulCollage® deck. I discovered multiple Neters that reflect and honor my Cretan and Minoan heritage among my Community and Council cards, but there’s not a single Committee card that reflects that “real Cretan woman.” I very much need her, and am already gathering photographs to create that card. Thank you, Shame, for helping me identify and retrieve that essential part of my being!

The saying goes: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” I prefer this variation: “Fool me twice, I’ve got some work to do.” May “shame on me” become but a brief prelude to nurturing, honest and fulfilling explorations of the wonderful YOU.

Here are some explorations for you to consider:

1. Ask your Inner Critic to speak about Shame. How can it help you to learn and grow from shameful experiences? How can it keep Shame from becoming toxic and defeating to you?

2. Do you have any cards that reflect your shameful self? What positive aspects do such cards offer? Self-awareness? A capacity to learn from experiences? A willingness to let go?

3. Can you identify cards of any suit that are helpful to dealing with feelings of shame? If not, might you create at least one card for such a purpose? Perhaps a “giving myself a break” card?

4. Identify a situation in which you felt shame, but can now laugh about your decision or behavior. It can be recent or from as far back as your childhood. I’ll bet you can find at least one. Reflect on that capacity to look back with humor and kindness to yourself. Do you have any cards that reflect humor, forgiveness, retrospection, or compassion for yourself? How might aspects of The Fool be useful?

5. Finally, embrace some self-assured humor and enjoy this 1970s classic.


Dr. Michele Manos lives near Tucson, AZ. She loves discovering and sharing new ways to work with her SoulCollage® deck. She offers SoulCollage® Card Games workshops and retreats in beautiful Arizona and elsewhere. Visit her at her website here.  

 
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KaleidoSoul Creations
As promised, we are featuring  SoulCollage® cards from our readers in each issue.

Each card below is a card from one SoulCollager's Deck that represents Guilt/Shame.


Guilt
Committee Suit
Kristine
California

I am the one who knows there are things I wished I had never done or said. I hoped no-one noticed. But they did. Every eye was on me and letting me know that what I did was potentially hurtful. The beauty is, that by NOT hiding from sight, I can correct what has been done. I can make their eyes see that I am not a bad person. I make mistakes.




Judged & Embarrassed
Committee Suit
Laurie
California

Child: I am the one who everyone is looking at. I want to run away and hide. I’m so embarrassed that my little-kid-self reacted, yelled, and said what was on my mind. Adults: we will make sure you feel ashamed of yourself for your lack of control.
Card: My gift to you is the realization that the little girl inside you is scared and hurting. When she gets that way, she’ll start running the show. I want you to be compassionate. Recognize what’s hurting. Find a way to heal it. And if it’s yourself beating up on yourself from some old tapes about how you’re supposed to be its time to let them go. Let them go.



Shame Blocks Love
Suit Unknown
Marti
Illinois

I Am One Who spent decades buried, enmeshed, overwhelmed, stuck and full of Shame. I Am One Who allowed shame to define my motherhood. I Am One Who realizes how shame prevented me from being present to the Goodness of my mothering. I Am One Who witnesses the high cost I pay whenever I allow Shame to block the Love that flows into my Life. Remember: now you can have a new thought! There’s no need to be ashamed. You are superb at caring for others. When you see hands reaching out, be gracious. Be willing to receive the love they are so freely offering you.



Ashamed
Committee suit
Anne Marie
Massachusetts

I am the one who was shamed as a child. I am the one who bore the marks on my body, mind, and spirit for many years. I am the one who grew out of the shame and set myself free.

 

Guilt
Committee
Karen
Ohio

I am the one who made a big mistake, made a mess of things. I’m not pleased with myself for what I did, seeing how my actions hurt somebody. I feel guilty and know I need to apologize. I accept I might need punishment but hope it won’t be too harsh. I promise that I won’t do it again and hope you’ll forgive me. I’m actually a decent person, I just made a boo-boo. Doesn’t everybody?



Shame
Committee Suit
Karen
Ohio

I am the one who feels worthless, unworthy of love or forgiveness. I must be bad and disgusting through and through, nothing about me is good enough. I believe the nasty things people say about me. My world is dark and gloomy. I might as well curl up on the floor in a ball and pull a blanket over me. I cover my eyes because I can’t look others in theirs; I don’t deserve their love. I’m drowning in shame.
 


Shameful Ones
Council Suit
Dot
Pennsylvania

We are ones who feel ashamed. We are ones who try to hide ourselves so others do not see our shame. I am one who is a chimpanzee who has lost all my hair. I feel naked and ashamed. I feel so different from the others. I am one whowears a paper bag over my head. Perhaps if you cannot see me, you will not feel my shame. Does this shield my shame from you? I am one who hides behind my hands. Just pretend that I’m not here. I am one who tries not to see, hopes you don’t see either. It’s so embarrassing to be so full of shame.




Please feel free to submit one of your cards for a future issue by sending a reply email to this newsletter.

Future themes include:

 
April: Mystic
May: Peace
 
 
 
KaleidoSoul NotesKaleidoSoul Notes

Noteworthy resources for anyone interested in SoulCollage®


 
Facilitator TrainingsFacilitator Trainings: Information about content and dates/locations of upcoming trainings of SoulCollage® Facilitators.


SoulCollage websiteSoulCollage website - Seena Frost created the process of SoulCollage®, and this is her website.


KaleidoSoul - Spinning the fragments of your world into wholeness and beauty through SoulCollage®.


Kindred Spirits Join our fast-growing worldwide membership of people who put the "soul" in SoulCollage®!
Enjoy These Books About SoulCollage®
Upcoming SoulCollage® Retreats
NEW!
ARIZONA


Communing at The Casa:
A SoulCollage® Card Games Retreat for Facilitators

Scottsdale, Arizona
April 17-19, 2020
Facilitator: Michele Manos

A special kind of SoulCollage® magic happens when Facilitators gather! Nourish yourself and your practice at this weekend of learning, sharing, individual activities and group rituals – a perfect blend of a retreat, a workshop, a conference of colleagues, and a meeting of friends. Co-sponsored by SoulCollage Inc. for SoulCollage® Facilitators, this retreat offers a taste of some of Michele's newest Card Game activities to Play with a Full Deck. Picture yourself with thousands of images, space and time to make cards you’ve not yet had the tranquility to make. A beautiful desert setting with gardens, pool and labyrinth await you!

Visit this page for more information. 



ENGLAND


Return to Avalon - Goddess Retreat
Glastonbury, England
April 25 – May 8, 2020
Facilitator: Cat Caracelo

Join Cat in 2020 as she travels to a place of myth and memories, where the landscape is a mirror of the Soul. Return to Avalon at Beltane, honoring the goddess at May Day festivities! Experience a dynamic, heart-centered time of renewal, discovery, depth and connection. Join with kindred women to embrace this sacred place, staying in a restored farmhouse, with two homes, orchard, view of the Tor and spa on site! Journey to sacred sites, explore the earth-based energies, honor the Goddess and make inspired art with SoulCollage® and more, in this all-inclusive retreat to Glastonbury, England and surrounding areas.

Visit this page for more information. 



MASSACHUSETTS


Riding the Waves of Change with SoulCollage®
Westfield, Massachusetts
May 2-3, 2020
Facilitator: Anne Marie Bennett and her brother, John Pacheco

Would you like to feel empowered to create intentional changes in your life? Are you overwhelmed by waves of unexpected change? Could you use some support for "riding" your waves of change? If so, we hope you will join the brother/sister team of John Pacheco and Anne Marie Bennett at this restful, creative weekend workshop. Using surfing metaphors, SoulCollage®, journaling, guided imagery and small group discussion, we will explore dealing with unanticipated changes and creating the changes that you want and deserve. Surfing experience not necessary... these are inner waves of change!

Visit this page for more information.


NEW YORK

Wisdom + Wild
Binghamton, New York
May 23-26, 2020
Facilitator: Cat Caracelo

Spend four days creating with a circle of women diving deep, making art, and kissing the muse as we gather wisdom, express wonder, and find our wild. We will be creating, playing, and circling in a powerful way. Feel yourself wrapped in the beauty of the rolling hills on a luscious private property with lake, gardens and studio space. Find yourself inspired as you explore and expand the energy of wisdom + wild in your art and life, using SoulCollage® and mixed media techniques. We will gather under the New Moon and call in guidance from the four directions to step into a new season of life. Visit this page for more information. 

Visit this page for more information.


ITALY

SoulCollage® Retreat in Motion
Sardinia, Italy
June 18-25, 2020
Facilitator: Mariabruna Sirabella

Crystal clear seas, sandy beaches, granite rocks and verdant vegetation will be the setting for Mariabruna’s 2020 Annual Retreat in Motion on the island of Sardinia, Italy. Experience a full immersion into the sacred places and pristine nature of Sardinia. Experience transformation, new insights and fresh inspiration as you celebrate the Summer Solstice, practice SoulCollage®, and swim in pristine waters rejuvenating body and soul. Excursions to explore the natural and historical wonders of Sardinia will be interspersed with days of reflection, meditation, SoulCollage® and other creative activities.

Visit this page for more information.


ARIZONA

Where Soul Meets Spirit: Art Retreat in Sedona
Sedona, Arizona
September 23-27, 2020
Facilitator: Kat Kirby

If you’d love 5 days of enjoying creative time in the studio, join us in the magical landscape of the high desert in Sedona, Arizona. Creative expression is settling down with your Inner Child, allowing yourself to create without expectation or judgement. We’ll be making a hand-made journal, some SoulCollage® cards, and a cigar box shrine. What is your unique creative voice? What is the story you are telling? Let’s find out, and spend time encouraging you to blossom. This retreat is designed to invigorate your artistic senses and help you find new ways to relax and renew. You will feel welcomed and encouraged to explore your creative side. Your imagination and sleeping “inner artist” will awake and delight you. And you will be given tools to continue your exploration of the arts when you return home.

Visit this page for more information.


NEW!
NEW MEXICO


Soul Journey Retreat
Santa Fe, New Mexico
October 2-6, 2020
Facilitator: Deborah Milosevich

This Soul Journey retreat will be held at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Convent and Retreat Center, nestled in the pinion-covered foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Rising to over 12,000 feet, with the great peaks of the Sangre de Cristos as a backdrop, this place is truly where one can cultivate the richness of life and spirit. The beautiful conference and dining rooms overlook the Monte Sol and Atalaya mountains, with the Ortiz and Sandia mountain ranges in the distance. The lush campus offers serenity, privacy, and space. Some of the best hiking is right outside the facility. We will make SoulCollage® cards, share insights, and have the opportunity to create a one of a kind art piece. We can also listen to the Nuns singing in the morning!

Visit this page for more information.


NEW!
ROYAL CARIBBEAN LIBERTY OF THE SEAS

SoulCollage® at Sea - Cruise and Play
Departing from Galveston, Texas
April 25 – May 2, 2021
Facilitator: Lora Dail, Teffany Heffner, Anne Marie Bennett

Do you love cruising? Do you love SoulCollage®? We'll be onboard Royal Caribbean’s Liberty of the Seas for a Western Caribbean cruise, making and reading cards while enjoying all the benefits of cruising. Join our private Facebook group "SoulCollage®: The Voyage Continues - A Travel SoulCollage® Experience" to get more information on how to reserve your room for this adventure, or email Teffany directly (see below).

Visit this page for more information or email Teffany Heffner
 
 
CONTACT US
Soul Songs Back Issues - Read back issues of Soul Songs on this KaleidoSoul page.
Just look for whatever SoulCollage® topic you are interested in,
and read to your heart's content!


SoulCollage® is a trademarked process created by Seena B. Frost.
For more information about Seena and the origins of SoulCollage®, please visit her website


SoulCollage® cards are made either from one's own art or from images found in materials which have been bought by or given to the SoulCollage® card maker. These collaged cards are used only for the cardmaker's own inner exploration. SoulCollage® cards are not sold, traded, bartered, or copied (except as a back-up for the cardmakers own use) as is stated in the "Principles of SoulCollage®." Where SoulCollage® cards are available to be seen by others, it is for the purposes either of demonstrating the SoulCollage® process or of sharing the cardmakers' inner process in the context of community. SoulCollage® is grateful to the artists and photographers who make this deep awakening process possible and in all ways SoulCollage® seeks to be respectful of their rights.

 
All articles in SOUL SONGS are copyrighted 2020,
by Anne Marie Bennett, Cat Caracelo, Linda Woolfson,
Marti Beddoe, or Michele Manos.
Articles may be reprinted by permission only.