60 minute SoulCollage® Zoom video class
with SoulCollage® Facilitator
Jeanne Marie Merkel from New York

Surviving with Resilience


Coming into the world as a surviving twin, I’m strongly connected to Survivor as an archetype (see my SoulCollage® Survivor card, left). I’ve since fought many physical challenges such as a near-fatal childhood illness and now, a progressive chronic disease. My life continues to be a spicy mixture of blessings and battles, opportunities and obstacles, friends and foes. And yet, I‘ve survived to tell the tale. Some might say I’m a fighter, while others see me as fortunate or lucky. One thing’s for certain, I’m a strong spirit and I’ve developed some hefty resilience.

Put simply, resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, to adeptly recover from difficulties. It’s absolutely not about “toughing it out,” putting on a happy face or perpetual fearlessness. In fact, the building blocks for resilience include experiences of pain, fear and distress. Resilience is mustering the psychological, physical and emotional fortitude to survive the greatest of stressors. It requires a blend of adaptability, resourcefulness, strength, and determination. Sometimes it’s nourished by the support of others; often, it comes solely from within. Resilience is a means of finding balance in troubled times. It is perseverance on continuous replay.

Yes, YOU are resilient! Each one of us has resilience, but we differ in how we put it to work in coping with life’s challenges. We can grow our resilience through the conscious choice to nurture it. We may also participate in groups, such as advocacy or faith organizations, where we contribute to collective resilience and grow our own tenacity.

For me, an early opportunity to build resilience was intertwined with the emotional and social struggles of being the only child of a divorced mother (scandalous situation, at that time). I learned to make the most of my greater-than-average alone time, applying my growing creativity and curiosity to pursuits like writing stories and plays. I found books, music, fields and forests that captivated me, feeding my sense of adventure and infinite possibilities. I have a bittersweet SoulCollage® card for my “Isolated Child” who is somewhat lonely, but increasingly content as she independently explores the world around her.

As I’ve weathered the disappointments, losses and traumatic events throughout my life, my extended family has provided a generous, reliable support system. However, as I grow older, I’m more frequently relying on myself. Despite the chaos around me, my life experience (and doses of humor and optimism) provides me the fortitude and gumption to carry on. The SoulCollage® card that best reflects my resilient self is called “Weathering the Storm.” One of my favorite cards, it embraces the spiritual core of my resilience.

Right now, acceptance is of particular importance to my resilience, as is growing my perspectives. And there’s a related capacity that I’d like to develop more of: flexibility. I want to apply firmness more selectively, and learn to benefit from flexibility. However, I aim to avoid excessive adaptability that might lead me into dangerous situations or toxic environments.

There’s also a good deal of preparedness supporting my resilience. Much of that comes from my rich and varied life journey. I understand very well that “it can’t get any worse” is always untrue. I’ve learned to anticipate challenges and obstacles, cushioning the impact of painful disappointments. Accordingly, I have a humorous and significant card called “Expect the Unexpected!”

For me, the Survivor archetype and resilience have similar shadow aspects. At their worst, they can become facades, concealing and denying the emotional responses to adversity. And by being overly prepared for and expectant of “the worst,” cynicism and defensiveness may creep in. Also, without integrated self-care, sustained resilience can lead to burnout and a willingness to give up the fight.

The American Psychological Association likens resilience to rafting down a river with continually changing conditions such as rapids, boulders and other obstacles, as well as pleasant, calm waters. With time, you become more adept at navigating the challenging stretches. “You can climb out to rest alongside the river. But to get to the end of your journey, you need to get back in the raft and continue.” Indeed, that’s what resilience is all about.

Some things to ponder about resilience:

• Do you have a story that showcases your resilient self, your ability to adapt and bounce back from a difficult situation? What inner wisdom helped you? What people and other outside forces supported you?
   
• Take inventory of your SoulCollage® cards and consider the Neters that have helped you develop resilience. What Committee (personality) parts contribute to your resilience or to being a “survivor?” Which undermine your ability to healthily and gracefully survive crises? Which Animal Companions are present when you’re in survival mode? What Community members have contributed to your survival and to the wisdom underlying your resilience?
   
• What song inspires resilience in you? Read the lyrics and see what you discover there. Do you have any SoulCollage® cards that match the song’s energy or themes? (For me, there’s no better resilience anthem than Alanis Morissette’s “You Learn.”)

Resilient Child
Committee Suit
Melissa
Texas

I am one who is born into the harshness of this beautiful world. I am one who sees clearly and grows. I am one who is bolstered by dreams of another possible world. I am one who is resilient and open to magic, deep deep inside.




The Survivor
Committee Suit
Lisa
California

I am one who views my cancer journey not as a gift, but as a catalyst for the emergence of many gifts. The immense gift of gratitude. The exhilarating gift of awakening to a greater belief in miracles, dreams and entry points into the realms of possibility. The reassuring gift of courage that I am strong enough to navigate through any rocky territory I may encounter in my life. The immeasurable gift of living with a heart that has opened wider and discovered an infinite capacity for love and connection. And the precious gift of life itself. I am one who is a survivor amidst countless survivors wishing to humbly share my gifts with others.




Surviving Divorce 
Committee Suit
Allison
Oregon

I am one who is able to find balance despite turbulent losses. I am one who can find strength and resources and trust that I can survive and thrive amidst chaos.




Violence Alters It All 
Committee Suit
Anonymous

I am the one who is deeply wounded… who has shut the darkness outside. I am the one with the image of the loaded gun burned into my psyche. I am forever altered; I am among “the walking wounded.” I am serious and calm, wary and vigilant. I am fearless: “I have survived the worst.” Though no shots were fired, I know that part of me died that day. Even so, I am the one who has survived.




Warrior-ess
Council
Denise
California

I am the Warrioress. I am courage, strength and I preserver through all aspects of life. I am here to protect and guide you. I stand with the great goddess, sword at the ready. Call on me when you need inner strength and courage to face your everyday challenges.




Survivor
Council Suit
Anne Marie
Massachusetts

We are the ones who lived through the fire and now we are resting on the other side of it, even though it still burns behind us. We are the ones who survived the fire. The disaster is behind us now and we are now in a place of presence and peace.

 

Flexibility
Committee Suit
Michele
Arizona

I am one who is striving to go with the flow, and to embrace the reality that my future is not set in stone. Let’s not get all wrapped up in binding expectations.

Please feel free to submit one of your cards for a future issue by sending a reply email to this newsletter.

Future themes include: