Soul Singing with Anne Marie |
Hi!
I'm Anne Marie, the creator of KaleidoSoul.com, and a SoulCollage®
facilitator in Massachusetts. If you're just starting to sing your
song with SoulCollage®, this column is especially for you.
Wanting More
The dictionary describes addiction as the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or
physically habit-forming. For me, that addiction is food. But it could just as easily be pills, or shopping, or internet browsing,
or sex, or anything that keeps me at a distance from myself.
My own food addiction began in my in my late 20's/early 30's when I was involved in a codependent relationship with an alcoholic. He
was addicted to alcohol, and I became addicted to him. When I got help for myself (in the form of the community of Al-Anon), I became
strong enough to let him go. However, there was a huge void in my life, and I began to fill that void with food.
Self-soothing with food has been my way of dealing with feelings and stress for about twenty years now. But since I started
SoulCollage®, I have been able to slowly (very slowly!) begin to disengage from this addictive behavior.
It has helped me SO much to make cards for the parts of me who overeat in times
of loneliness and stress. One of my favorites is "Wanting More." I have posted
this card and my writing about this part of me on my
Inner Surprises Blog.
As you will see when you read the entries, she has a lot to say! And she has shown up in my SoulCollage® card readings
many times, each time with some new nugget of wisdom about my relationship with food, and my relationship with myself.
For me, the bottom line about my addictive behavior is that it keeps me separated from myself. It tells me that I’m not good enough
exactly as I am. It tells me that I don’t have a right to feel my feelings. It insists that my needs are not important. It
convinces me that food is a good replacement for self-conversation and trust.
SoulCollage® has given me the gift of wanting to be more connected with myself. I now believe that I am good
enough exactly as I am. I am certain that my feelings and my needs are important. I honor them, and I honor myself, and the
more I do this, the less of a hold my addiction has on me. It is a slow process, but as long as I am patient with myself, I
can see my relationship with food changing to one of peace and trust rather than frenzy and pain.
If you are interested in how SoulCollage® can help us give voice to and transform our addictions (food or otherwise),
please consider joining Kat Kirby and I in our monthly KaleidoSoul tele-class
on March 16. There is more information on this KaleidoSoul page.
Anne
Marie Bennett is a freelance writer, self-taught artist, SoulCollage®
Facilitator and Facilitator Trainer who trained with Seena Frost. Her background
is elementary education, computer software training, writing, and mixed media
art. She lives, laughs, writes, and sings (and makes her own SoulCollage® cards!) in Beverly, MA.
More of Anne Marie's cards/interpretations are available on her blog,
Inner Surprises.
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Soul Symphonies with Karen |
My
name is Karen Mann and I'm a SoulCollage® facilitator from Melbourne,
Australia. This column is for those of you who have already made some cards
& are ready to discover the symphony of voices inside of you and around
you.
Facing My Addictive Self
Today I'm sharing with you a card that I have avoided journaling with and don't really like to think about. This card represents my
"Addictive Self." When I look at it, I feel nauseous and very uncomfortable. This part of me is one that I have not yet come to
love and accept.
While I have never been a true addict, I have certainly dabbled in a number of addictive behaviours in the past.
I am the one who has
tried many different methods of escapism. I am the one who has kissed people I shouldn't have, had one night stands that made me feel
dirty, has drunk alcohol until I was sick, has risked my life by taking illegal drugs and eaten so much that I was obese. My dirty
little secret is that when the going gets tough, I try to escape and make myself feel better. I am the one who was seeking a distraction
from the pain I was feeling inside.
What is Your Positive Intent?
When I meet shadow aspects of myself, there are usually a couple of ways I try to get to know them. The first is by asking "What is your
positive intent?" as I believe each aspect of self is here to help us. For example: my Inner Critic, which can feel very nasty, is actually
trying to look after me. So when she says "You're too stupid to try out for that job," it's really her misguided attempt to help me avoid
the possible disappointment of someone else telling me I'm not good enough for that job.)
When I asked my "Addictive Self" about its positive intent, the answer I got was:
I helped you survive some difficult times. However, I
taught you that in the end, it is best to face your problems and your fears. Through trying to escape, you just end up in more of a mess
and more pain. You can't keep running, you have to face the pain one day, better to face it earlier when it is easier to control. I also
taught you empathy for others in pain or who are hiding from pain behind an addiction. This answer does remind me that the moments of pain
and discomfort I feel in the here and now are easier to deal with than the mess that may occur later if I don't face up to the issue as it arises.
Which Neter is in Excess or in Lack?
The second thing I often explore when working with a shadowy part of myself is "Which part of me is in excess or lack?" When a Neter is
"shadowed" there may be too much of an aspect (for example: too much anger can manifest as "bitchy") or too little of an aspect (for example:
the repression of anger may lead to someone being over-accommodating and a "pushover").
My aim is to find the balanced ground, to find a way to work with this aspect to find a balanced form of expression. For example: a balanced
"angry" Neter would express anger in an appropriate manner at the time the emotion is experienced. It would be neither expressed inappropriately nor repressed.
A balanced approach would be to identify the pain, accept it, truly feel it, and then use my tools to let it go and move forward. I feel that
this is something I am able to do more successfully now than I did in the past. My SoulCollage® practice and the support of
my therapist and
like-minded friends means that most of the time I do live from this place of balance.
At the present time my "Addictive Self" rarely rears her head. Sometimes she makes a suggestion about an avoidance technique we could engage
in, but usually my other inner parts are able to support her so she doesn't partake in this behaviour. What an amazing place I now find myself
in. From a place of dreading writing this article and not wanting to share this Neter with you, to a place where I actually feel good about
what
I've achieved and how well I usually cope with situations now that seemed overwhelming in the past. What a gift exploring this
SoulCollage® card has been!
Karen Mann
is an artist, art teacher, Lifestyle Coach, yoga and meditation teacher, and
SoulCollage® facilitator. Karen has been working with SoulCollage® cards for more
than four years and facilitates a variety of SoulCollage® Groups. Karen also runs
SoulCollage® Facilitator Training weekends. Karen offers regular workshops in
Melbourne
and Geelong, Australia, and is also available to travel to other regions in Australia. For more
information, or to contact Karen, please visit her website,
Flying Colours Creativity.
SoulCollage® is a trademarked process created by Seena B. Frost.
For more
information about Seena and the origins of SoulCollage®,
please visit her website.
SoulCollage®
cards are made either from one's own art or from images found in materials which
have been bought by or given to the SoulCollage® card maker. These collaged cards
are used only for the cardmaker's own inner exploration. SoulCollage® cards are
not sold, traded, bartered, or copied (except as a back-up for the cardmakers
own use) as is stated in the "
Principles of SoulCollage®." Where SoulCollage® cards are
available to be seen by others, it is for the purposes either of demonstrating
the SoulCollage® process or of sharing the cardmakers' inner process in the
context of community. SoulCollage® is grateful to the artists and
photographers who make this deep awakening process possible and in all ways
SoulCollage® seeks to be respectful of their rights.
All articles in SOUL SONGS are copyrighted 2009,
by Anne Marie Bennett and Karen Mann.
Articles may be reprinted by permission only.
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KaleidoSoul Creations |
As promised, we are featuring SoulCollage® cards from our readers in each issue.
Each card below is one SoulCollager's expression of their own personal
addictions.
Material Girl
Suit: Committee
Artist: Kat
Location: California
I am one who cannot stop buying expensive stuff, because I believe it makes me feel good to have nice things.
I feel excited and energized when I am shopping. I am one who does not understand why I feel so sad when
I get all my purchases back home and unpack them and feel lonely and empty.
Artist: Cheryl
Location: South Carolina
I am the one who gets it now! No more separation, unity instead.
The Divine and I are one. This is where my addiction to compulsive overeating, bingeing on sugar.... gratefully brought me.
Not Asking
for Help
Suit: Committee
Artist: Ann
Location: Maryland
I am the one who is addicted to never asking for help. I am the one who
sees myself as small and helpless, who would rather just take her chances
with her own meager resources than cross the fearsome line of fire to ask
for help from those more powerful than me. I am the one who is addicted to
remaining a helpless victim.
Reaching
Suit: Committee
Artist: Cheryl
Location: Illinois
I am the one who is hungry for the comfort of sweet chocolate.
I am the one who reaches for the very last bite...even when I don't make the first one.
I am the one who won't let you rest. I am the one who is reaching for all the goodness
I can taste and feel and have.
I want you to know that you can reach for something else and that you can climb sweeter mountains and have sweeter rewards.
KaleidoSoul Notes
Noteworthy resources for anyone interested in
SoulCollage®
Facilitator Trainings: Information about content and dates/locations of upcoming trainings of
SoulCollage® Facilitators.
SoulCollage website -
Seena Frost created the process of SoulCollage®, and this is her website.
KaleidoSoul -
Spinning the fragments of your world into wholeness and beauty through
SoulCollage®.
Tele-Classes -
These are fun, interactive tele-classes that are easily accessed from anywhere
in the world.
March's tele-class is called:
The Voices of Our Addictions: Transformation Through SoulCollage®
Presented by Kat Kirby, SoulCollage® Facilitator and Art Therapist in San Diego,
California. There are more details on this KaleidoSoul page.
Kindred
Spirits -
Join our fast-growing worldwide membership of people who put the "soul" in
SoulCollage®! Receive a weekly newsletter all about SoulCollage®, advance
notice of new SoulCollage® materials, half- price discounts on all e-courses
and e-books in the KaleidoSoul Shop. And more!
Inspiring
Resourses
Books,
Music & Inspiration
Artella
is a lively playground for writers, artists, and any kind of creator (That's YOU!). You will find a wealth of
resources, ideas, and playful projects to delight your inner artist and/or your inner writer.
Find thousands of creative products
in The Artella Store! Check out their e-courses too! My favorites are: The Gratitude Garland, Accounting Your
Blessings, The World of Pretend, and DeCluttering For Creatives. There's lots of fr*ee stuff to love at Artella too.
All Books For Less --
Amazing website for any book lover. They have zillions of books (I'm not
kidding!) on any topic you can think of, all at greatly reduced prices.
It's not like Amazon or Half.com where you are buying from individual
sellers. This is a reputable dealer and most of the books are available
in quantity, which is great for book clubs as well as gift giving.
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